Republican Says Farmers Markets Turn Into Crack Dens

Watch out! That local farmer’s market might be an insidious hotbed of liberal propaganda. That paper sack full of juicy tomatoes you buy might come with a freebie: a cogent argument in favor of homosexual marriage, or affirmative action, or against the occupation of Iraq!

Or so the tiresome chairman of the Lane County Republican Party is claiming out in Oregon.

    Bob Avery said Monday that he is opposing the market “as a resident of Junction City” and not in his official capacity as the county’s GOP chairman. But he said the latter role probably made him “more sensitive” to the political roots of SOD (Seeking Out Democracy), the group seeking a permit to operate the open-air market. And, while he has no plans to target established events such as Eugene’s Saturday Market and the Lane County Farmers Market, Avery said, he’s “alerted people in the party to be on the lookout for this kind of (political) activity around the county.”

He has some other reasons why you shouldn’t be able to buy succulent pears or ripe cheeses directly from a local farmer. A big one? A farmer’s market is the first step towards turning the neighborhood into a crack alley. Everyone hold on tight: once the compression of a person’s intellect due to political zealotry reaches a certain point, there’s a significant chance of a black hole imploding into existence within his cerebellum.

Application for farmers’ market draws fire [Register Guard Online]

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  1. Das Ubergeek says:

    Wow, I go to farmers’ markets three times a week, including occasionnally the Granddaddy of Them All in Santa Monica… I must be a communist and I didn’t even know it, wow!

    I have faith in Darwinism… no-one that stupid can live very long… but he’s welcome to those insipid grocery-store tomatoes in the meantime.

  2. Paul D says:

    I go to the local farmers’ market all the time and I’ve NEVER been proselytized to. (Not that I would mind, but anyone who did it would pretty much be preaching to the choir.)

  3. aixwiz says:

    I live in Colorado (a RED state even though I’m a little blue) and we have farmers markets all over. Never heard any of the conservatives around here grip about them. Bob Avery seems to be living in his own little reality.

    Of course, I could say that about other conservatives I know, too.

  4. Drinker Nisti says:

    Mon cher Ubergeek–

    If you attend the Wednesday organic market in Santa Monica, your name is already on a list and your phone calls are being monitored…

  5. So…..this is a political blog now?

  6. Bubba Barney says:

    Colorado just barely made it in to a Red State. Denver is pretty liberal; it’s just the pleebs in the suburbs who turned us Red.

  7. L_Emmerdeur says:

    Could somebody please decide on a stereotype and stick to it? Is it “pinko commie liberal Godless scumbag farmers” or “inbred redneck fascist racist reactionary Fundamentalist scumbag farmers”?

    I NEED TO KNOW WHAT INFLUENCE THOSE $20/LB. HEIRLOOM TOMATOES ARE HAVING ON MY VOTING PATTERNS, PEOPLE.

  8. etinterrapax says:

    Oh, for the love of all that’s holy. Let him go to the supermarket, then. Leave the good produce for the rest of us. Next thing you know, he’ll be telling us there’s a liberal and conservative way to pee.

  9. AcidReign says:

    …..The problem with farmer’s markets in my state is that they are all growing rubber-tasting vine-ripe tomatoes that are no different than what you find in the grocery store! I’m finding the best taste these days in the expensive hot-house brands.

    …..I find a lot of the best vegetables sometimes when farmers just park on the roadside and sell out of the back of their trucks. It’s cheap, no sales tax, and your nose and eyes will pretty much tell you if the merchandise is any good or not.