Reading Consumerist Makes You Blind, More Fundable

We know our template sucks. It looks as if it was withdrawn from the chthonic bung hole of the smelliest goth web designer who ever laced skull barrettes through his or her armpit hair. In our defense, we’ve been saying it sucks ever since it was foisted upon us by the capricious whim of our Gawker overlords. Only now are they willing to admit it’s terrible. But in some ways, the site design has paid off for us: judging from the volume of the outraged response from our occularly-challenged readers in response to this piece, we have a lot more blind readers than the other Gawker sites, which is a target demographic Gawker has before now had problems reaching. But still, we know it’s ugly, and we know that it has had dire impact on the aesthetic self-respect of our sighted readers.

But good news! Although the Consumerist may make you blind, it also makes you imminently more fuckable. From Simon Dumenco’s AdAge column:

Here’s what I believe: that I, and millions of others, read Gawker and lots of other popular blogs not only because they’re popular, but because they’re consistently provocative and hugely entertaining … Having the experience and the story to tell afterward briefly made them conversationally more interesting, more attractive. Which, come to think of it, is why people read the best, most popular blogs.

There, I said it: Reading Gawker makes you more f***able.

Thanks for shielding our dainty Victorian sensibilities with the asterisks, Simon. “Fundable?” But we pass this public service announcement on to our readers. Begin strutting whilst out on the prowl accordingly. Thanks to Media Orchard for the head’s up!

Comments

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  1. Transuranic says:

    Reading Gawker [sites] makes me more fuckable? I knew that in 2002. Therefore I am pulling a RIM-job and demanding compensation.

  2. mrscolex says:

    I want my money back.

  3. Bubba Barney says:

    Maybe, but sometimes you sound like a loon recounting stuff from the Gawker sites.

    I get a lot of ‘Nuh uh!’s. Like when I was telling people Jessica and Nick were over, no one believed me.