Here at the Consumerist, we just love crazy corporate executives. Young, old, it doesn’t matter… in the dark. So the gelatin circumference of our belly has been quivering in fond mirth over the recent adventures of Gizmondo (not to be confused with our pocket-protector sister site, Gizmodo) founder Stefan Eriksson, who resigned from the company the night before its American launch after Scandinavian reporters discovered he was a convicted counterfeiter.
It gets weirder. Here’s the scoop: on February 21st, Eriksson crashes his $1 million dollar Ferrrari (one of only 400 ever built) into a telephone poll. When the police arrive on the scene, Eriksson begins frenziedly explaining that he was merely the passenger of the vehicle when it spun out of control at 165mph. The driver is a mysterious German man whom Eriksson only knows by the name of Dietrich, who ran off into a nearby canyon and disappeared shortly after the crash.
It gets weirder. Moments after the crash, a group of men arrive on the scene in the guise of the Murky, Omnipresent Man — Homeland Security. The police, without really checking their credentials, lets them onto the crime scene. They poke around, talk to Eriksson, then disappear as suddenly as Dietrich.
It gets weirder. During his interview with the police, Eriksson begins insisting that he is the Deputy Commissioner of the San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority’s counter-terrorism unit. The S.G.V.T.A. is a nonprofit bus service for the mentally and physically disabled, and it’s counter-terrorism presumably combats Al Qaeda’s nefarious San Gabriel “gimp” chapter.
But it gets weirder, because Gizmodo has a pidgin English translation of a recent Swedish article, in which Eriksson is identified as a ringleader in the Uppsala Mafia and identified by his underground moniker, “Fat Stefan”.
Man, we love this guy.