Worst Company in America: Tier 1 Results

Ladies and Gentlemen, your Tier 1 champions! Some no-brainers, squeakers and absolute pummeling.

Despite our best efforts to cast Target as an evil interloper, Walmart took the gold. Sprint barely beat Verizon by 18 votes, despite Verizon having such vaunted customer service. And in a surprise upset, the US government, despite not “officially” being a corporation, beat Enron by 169 votes! You go, girl!

We understand Tier 2 will be filled with trouncing. This is our first ladder we’ve ever made, sorry. While you were betting on basketball, we were touching ourselves.

Having eliminated all the lesser of two evils, Friday’s shakedown for Tier 3, will be hot.

We’re talking Paris Hilton hot.

In other news, NPR’s Marketplace says they’re going to interview us this afternoon about this poll. This will be a great way to reach all those execs and vp’s who can’t read the New York Times. We wonder if we’re allowed to bring in our own sound effects.

Comments

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  1. mrscolex says:

    I just read the boingboing article, feel free to erase this and previous commnet as it explained that its happening to everyone outside of the country.

  2. Ozyman666 says:

    Uh … you have Monsanto advancing over Halliburton, but Halli had more votes.

    Oh, and Duke sucks

  3. JNelsonW says:

    Why does Monsanto move on while the chart shows Haliburton getting more votes? Are they just that evil?

  4. Ben Popken says:

    Because we are stupid. Graphic should be fixed in a second.

  5. nweaver says:

    Uh, how is Monsanto winning over Haliburton?

  6. Chris H says:

    I still think there should be big defense contractor in the mix. All of these companies do annoying things, but none makes missles to blow up people or surveillance systems to track Americans.

  7. GenXCub says:

    Yes, but this is the consumerist… so as long as companies like Raytheon Missile Systems and Sprint/AT&T give good customer service and make sturdy products while violating our rights… they’ll get passed up in the brackets.

  8. “they’ll get passed up in the brackets.”

    Isn’t Sprint in the elite eight?

  9. SecureLocation says:

    Jesus, Jet Blue?! There were some cranky ass voters here. With all the shitty airlines to choose from?

  10. Anonymous says:

    There is absolutely no reason what-so-ever that Verizon’s evilness did not beat out Sprint, or any of the other competitors. They are AT LEAST in the top four along with US Government, Walmart and Halliburton. Dudes, they tapped your phones, then got Congress to pass a law giving them immunity for doing so while it was still illegal. Their customer service is anything but and…oh, I can’t go on…they make me need therapy. They are evil.