Thanks to the New York Post, we know there’s a 48-year-old man named Richard Cruz somewhere in Manhattan who’s hoarding his daughter’s college fund in a shoebox. We even know what he looks like, because in the photo that accompanies the article, Cruz is posing on the sidewalk with his withdrawn cash like he just won the shoebox lottery. “‘No one hides their money under a mattress any more,’ he said. ‘That’s the first place people would look.'” Good thinking.