With the stock market so scary right now, investors are looking for a sure thing, especially those approaching or in retirement. Enter the equity index annuity, which promises you’ll never lose money but if the index it’s tracked to, like the S&P 500, gains, you’ll get some of that. Though your maximum upside is capped and you have to agree to keep your money in there for a fixed term or suffer stiff early-withdrawal penalties. Annuities are infamous for being extremely complicated and festooned with bizarre fees, but, that aside, NYT Your Money reporter Ron Lieber analyzed a typical equity index annuity and found it was a bad bet. Here’s how the numbers played out…