Good news for those of you who hate loud commercials — a bill currently bouncing around in Congress would force the FCC to “preclude commercials from being broadcast at louder volumes than the program material they accompany.”
commercials
Bear Grylls Loves Post Trail Mix, When He Can't Grab A Handful Of Goat Balls And Spiders
By 5.11.09
-That’s why you’re a junior account manager, Chuck. You don’t think outside the box.
Slap Chop Remix Will Awe You (Although It Doesn't Erase The Memory Of That Hooker)
By 4.29.09
We’ll probably never be able to get those mug shots out of our minds when we see crazy old Vince hawking things on TV, but this amazing remix comes in a close second at searing itself into the brain. “You’re gonna love my nuts” is particularly well done.
Fans Beg The Cubs To Stop Playing Annoying Commercial Jingle At Wrigley
By 4.29.09
If one had a few hours free to try to list all the of the annoying commercial jingles from Chicagoland, one would be remiss not to include the locally-infamous “Luna” tune. If you’re not from Chicago, you do not understand the pain, but after the jump you will. Yes, you will.
Smart Mop Holds Up To 20 Times The Crazy Of A ShamWow
By 4.6.09
The people behind the new Smart Mop infomercial have clearly studied the success of the ShamWow guy, and they’ve taken the infomercial genre to a new level of silliness. Their new ad is so ridiculous that it seems designed more for YouTube than primetime, but since it’s funny and entertaining (for an infomercial) we’ll take the bait and post it.
FTC To Require Advertisers Using Testimonials To Show Typical Results
By 3.22.09
Subway spokesman and occasional thin guy Jared Fogle may soon be out of work thanks to a new FTC rule banning commercial testimonials that warn “results not typical” or “individual results may vary.” Under the new rule, marketers using, say, body builders to advertise weight loss pills are also going to have to show an average lardass whose results might be more typical. You can guess how advertisers are reacting to the change…
8 Pieces Of Junk Fitness Equipment
By 3.18.09
The world of late night TV (and now prime time too) has never had a shortage of stupid exercise machines guaranteed to make you look like a dehydrated, sauced-up infomercial model. ObsessionFitness has put together a quick list of 8 of the worst offenders, including our favorite, the hula-inducing Hawaii Chair.
Dan Hesse, You Can Keep Making Commercials Forever
By 3.13.09
Tonya emailed us a video clip of a cute little piggy with a robot voice complaining about being trapped on hold. We appreciated the rant, but were even more fascinated with the technology that allowed her friend to turn a long, written diatribe into an instant cartoon. You know who needs this? Dan Hesse, shunned pitchman and CEO for Sprint! You’ll never have to stop making commercials now. Also, we’ve decided to make you British.
FTC Launches Own Singing Credit Report Commercials
By 3.10.09
As we’ve said repeatedly, AnnualCreditReport.com is the good website to go to when you need to pull a credit report, because it’s actually free. The others, including freecreditreport.com, use the promise of free the way an angler fish uses its forehead-worm-thing to trap dumb little fish. The FTC has decided to fight fire with fire by releasing its own jingles. To be honest, we’re not 100% sold on them—they have kind of a squaresville, PBS vibe, which is gonna really hamper their viral power. Check them out below.
Cheers To You! Motivational CD Offers Eight Creepy, Life-Affirming Tracks
By 1.22.09
If you’re down in the dumps and have nowhere else to turn, consider this collection of congratulatory remarks dubbed over applause. Only $24.95! But wait, if you order right now, you’ll also get some, uh, pewter puzzle pieces?
Please Enjoy This Complimentary Billy Mays Remix Video, Our Gift To You With Each Order
By 1.9.09
What’s better than Billy Mays? Remixes of Billy Mays? We agree. And guess what? We’re tripling the offer inside. Yes. That’s right.* *These are all probably NSFW.
Yes, It's Official: That Stupid "Saved By Zero" Commercial Isn't Working
By 11.4.08
You, dear consumer, have abruptly stopped purchasing automobiles. GM’s sales are down 45%. Ford has sunk by 30% and Toyota, yes, that Toyota is down 23%.
Extended Stay Hotels Must Smell Really Bad
By 10.1.08
Okay, we got the bathroom humor of Kellog’s All-Bran commercial last year. We’re not sure if this commercial for Extended Stay Hotels, which shows guests so relaxed that they pass gas—or what the French call un petit éclatement—is quite as effective. Maybe they should change the tagline at the end to, “Our windows can be opened.”
By 9.19.08
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Tonight’s premiere of “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” is about cannibalism and hunting men for sport. The unfortunately-placed McDonald’s commercial halfway through the show featured a guy swinging a bat at his friend because he smells food, and then everyone else at the party swarming over the fallen friend to feast. Awkward!
It Looks Like High Fructose Corn Syrup Manufacturers Are Getting A Little Nervous
By 9.8.08
The Corn Refiners Association is sick and tired of people expressing uncertainty about the dubious heath benefits of high fructose corn syrup, so they’re running some commercials featuring aggressively annoying people getting schooled on the “facts” about our most omnipresent sweetener. All we managed to glean from the commercials is that not consuming high fructose corn syrup makes you rude. In the first one, one mom walks up to another (who is pouring some sort of pink liquid from a jug) and says, “Wow, you don’t care what the kids eat, huh?” What a jerk.
Duracell's New Ad: 'Oh No Your Kid Just Got Stolen!'
By 8.21.08
MSNBC’s Ads of the Weird blog is a little creeped out by Duracell’s new kidnapping commercial, and so are we. Making people feel bad about something is advertising’s job, we get that, but trying to scare parents into thinking their kid will be stolen from the playground by the classic man-in-a-van is going a little overboard. (Watch the commercial below.)
