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Oozinator Ooze Tested
By 6.21.06
Captivated by the Oozinator squirt guns possibilities, mainly those involving its ability to shoot ooze, we ordered one. Here is the money shot. It fulfills all your hopes and dreams. This is but a preview of a longer ooze opus. Enjoy.
The Oozinator Delights Children
By 5.1.06
Hasbro Marketing Executive, a glowing light bulb bouncing merrily above his skull: “I’ve got it! First, we’ll design our new Supersoaker water gun with the shape and hue of a grotesque alien phallus. Then, instead of water, we’ll make it squirt ropes of thick, opalescent ooze! Finally, we’ll market it with a television spot in which a pan-ethnic rainbow of small children are the gleeful recipients to load after hot, sticky load shot all over their chests and faces! It’s a win!”
Screaming Virgin Stewardess Ends in Group Vomit
By 3.3.06
The BBC, in its inimitable dry British humor, reports a “Probe Into ‘Panicking’ Stewardess.”
