asinine

48% Of Doctors Admit To Prescribing Placebos Just To Shut You Up

48% Of Doctors Admit To Prescribing Placebos Just To Shut You Up

According to a survey by the University of Chicago, 48% of doctors said “they have given at least one treatment when there was no evidence it would work.”

BofA Identity Theft Victim Gets Massive Runaround

Carmela’s Bank of America bank account was stolen. Someone was posting fraudulent transactions on her account. When she reported it to BofA, she entered into a colossal fun trap of transfers and incompetent support staff, even after visiting the branch on 107th and Broadway in Manhattan. However, rather than fighting The Man, she should have:

Verizon Still Can’t Count

Peter goes through several employees who can’t understand the hundredfold difference between dollars and cents. He escalates to and wrangles with a supervisor. At the end, Peter asks for his charge to be refunded.

Verizon Customer Gets Full Refund

Verizon Customer Gets Full Refund

UPDATE: Verizon Still Can’t Count

Transcript: Verizon Doesn’t Know How To Count

UPDATE: Verizon Customer Gets Full Refund

Verizon Doesn’t Know Difference Between Dollars And Cents

Verizon doesn’t know the difference between .002 cents and .002 dollars.

Don’t Eat The Marshmallows Shot By The Marshmallow Shooter

Don’t Eat The Marshmallows Shot By The Marshmallow Shooter

Adding to this marshmallow shooter’s retardation as a product, it contains contradictory instructions. The package boasts, “Edible Ammo!” but the warning label says, “Do not eat marshmallows after shooting.” This angers us. We’re going to YouTube ourselves smashing mallows. We’ll run that evil The Marshmallow Fun Company out of business. Just kidding, but seriously, this is dumb.— BEN POPKEN

Yahoo Blocks Road Runner Customer’s Emails, TWC Tells Him To Call Yahoo Himself

Yahoo is blocking emails sent by Time Warner Cable Road Runner customers who were formerly with Comcast. When consumers complain to Time Warner Cable, the company essentially tells them to call up Yahoo themselves.

PS3 Sales Erupt In Violence, Political Disgrace

PS3 Sales Erupt In Violence, Political Disgrace

The understocked PS3 has become the Paris Hilton of the gaming world. Demand is so fever-pitched that several opening day sales have resulted in violence and political defamation.

CBS Poops Out CSI Eggvertising

CBS Poops Out CSI Eggvertising

When we first heard about CBS advertising on poultry ovum, we thought, oh, that’s neat, but were, for the most part, nonplussed. The relentless penetration of advertising into every space is a fairly warmed over easy topic.

Fabio Solders With The Geek Squad

Fabio Solders With The Geek Squad

Spammer Mad That People Call Him A Spammer

A Chicago area spammer took London-based anti-spam outfit, Spamhaus, to court. E360 was mad that Spamhaus had added their ip addresses and names to a blacklist.

Does Snapple Rot?

Usually Rachel swigs Nestea but if that’s out, she gets a Snapple, which frightens her. Rachel is shocked and dismayed by the lack of an expiration date on Snapple iced tea, as well as the “film” and “floaty bits” she finds on the bottom. She asks:

State Farm Lacks Persistence of Vision

State Farm Lacks Persistence of Vision

State Farm is convinced that Rick was involved in a hit and run in San Francisco in July, even though he was out of town all that month and it seems they don’t even have the right license plate. Just to be sure, they stopped by Rick’s house to take photos of his car, a feat in and of itself as they intially demanded he bring it to their offices himself.

Update: State Farm Isn’t All There

Update: State Farm Isn’t All There

State Farm Isn’t All There

State Farm Isn’t All There

Short Story: State Farm sends a letter telling Rick he was ID’d as fleeing a hit-and-run accident. They claim to have a photograph of Rick.