If you go to a site with links to supposed videos titled “Twin Blonde Malms,” or “Malm Gets Wood In Every Hole,” you might think you’ve stumbled upon some Swedish porn site. Alas, it’s just the creation of a bored ad agency that saw all the porno potential in playing on IKEA’s Malm model of beds.

HotMalm.com, the creation of a handful of staffers at Droga5, an agency that claims it is in no way affiliated with the world’s largest furniture company, is “dedicated to bringing you the hottest Hot Malm action on the web… Our diverse and international team prides itself on curating and maintaining the Internet’s most comprehensive collection of Hot Malm videos, images and content. Hot new Malms are being stripped down, screwed and laid by the thousands every day, and it’s our mission to expose them.”

But for those hoping that titles like “Big Beautiful Malm Strips Outside” or “Malm Opened Up HD” would lead to actual videos, clicking on the images just takes the user to the completely non-sexy IKEA website.

The site does however feature a “live web cam” featuring a night-vision shot of an unoccupied Malm.

There are also plenty of punographic ads, like the chat link that promises to find “Hot Malms in your area,” or “2 Simple Steps to a Bigger Beam,” which links to that metal support beam many of us have wrestled with at some point in our furniture assembling lives.

“The idea for HotMalm.com built up over a span of three years,” explains Asa Block, the Droga5 project manager who co-created the project, to AdFreak. “My roommate and I were on the obligatory post-collegiate IKEA trip and buying new beds. Of course, we started giggling at the Malm series and before long, every time someone said the word ‘mom’ we would reply ‘HotMalm.com.’ Fast-forward three years and we are both grown men, still living in an Ikea furnished apartment, and still thinking way too much about this stuff. Now, we just have a website to show for it.”

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