If A Stranger Wants To Suck Your Toe At Walmart, He Probably Isn’t Really A TV Producer

Just a bit of advice to the shoppers of the world: If a man approaches you at Walmart — or really any retailer — and says he works for America’s Funniest Home Videos and that the show will pay for your stuff if you let him kiss your foot, he’s almost certainly lying. And yet, a teenager in Georgia says she was a sucker for a toe-sucker in disguise.

According to the Columbia County News-Times, the 18-year-old was shopping at her local Walmart on Tuesday when a man asked her if she’d ever watched Funniest Home Videos, that long-running staple of crotch punches accompanied by wacky sound effects.

He asked her if her toenails were painted and when she said yes, he told her that all of her purchases would be covered if she just did as he asked.

This is the point at which you start screaming for security.

But not this teen, who instead allowed the man to take photos of her foot and then agreed to let the man escalate the “prank” by smooching her toe in a secluded section of the store.

“Don’t worry. I don’t bite,” the man is alleged to have told the teen.

But when the man’s kiss turned into a full-on toe-suck, that’s when the customer finally decided it was time to scream and put an end to things.

“It tasted so good, though,” she claims the man told her before fleeing the store.

We’re going to go gargle for a bit. Be right back.

Teen’s toe sucked at Grovetown Walmart [News-Times]

Walmart toe sucker says ‘it tasted so good’ [Chron.com]