Guy In Chicken Suit Just Trying To Do His Job Gets His American Flag Stolen

What’s the average American flag-waving guy in a chicken supposed to do when someone ups and nabs said flag? He’s just trying to do his job outside the Boston Market and pay his bills. Of course, the cops have to get involved.

Police in Manchester, Conn. say the restaurant worker was parading and dancing outside a newly renovated Boston Market, waving an American flag, ostensibly to draw attention to the store. Nothing says, “Hey, look at me!” quite like a patriotic part of the poultry set.

Suddenly, a man jumped from a car, grabbed the flag, and drove off. A witness called the police and apparently, tickled a few funny bones in reporting the crime.

The Hartford Courant (via CBS News) says the dispatcher couldn’t quit laughing every time the phrase “chicken suit,” came up. You try being serious while saying “chicken suit.” It ain’t easy.

In order to prevent any more anti-chicken crime, the store’s manager stood beside the 23-year-old employee for the rest of his shift.

Theft of flag from man in chicken suit ruffles feathers in Conn. [CBS News]


Edit Your Comment

  1. Coffee says:

    It was an innocent crime; the thief thought he was French.

  2. TheMansfieldMauler says:

    What’s the average American flag-waving guy in a chicken supposed to do when someone ups and nabs said flag?

    Um…I don’t know, but while he’s doing it he better watch out for those claws.

  3. Blueskylaw says:

    The man in the chicken suit clucked ferociously and had a few of his
    feathers ruffled, yet still couldn’t prevent his flag from flying the coop.

    Drunken UConn student perhaps?

  4. Cat says:

    guy in a chicken?

    That’s just not right.

  5. CrankyOwl says:

    A crime like this is nothing to crow about, considering the poultry haul the thief nabbed.

  6. Lucky225 says:

    4 USC 8i

    The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever. It should not be embroidered on such articles as cushions or handkerchiefs and the like, printed or otherwise impressed on paper napkins or boxes or anything that is designed for temporary use and discard. Advertising signs should not be fastened to a staff or halyard from which the flag is flown.

    • Cat says:

      First Amendment:

      “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

      • Doubting thomas says:

        So if disrespecting the flag is free speech then why can’t the networks allow full frontal nudity on TV, or any of Carlin’s 7 words. I don’t find any of that as obscene or offensive as some entitled hippy flea bag burning the flag in some ridiculous protest.

        My personal solution would be for 100% free speech always and everywhere.

        • Cat says:

          Burning the flag may be offensive to some but it is a right. It is expressing the belief that the government is wrong, or that it should be overthrown, which is the foundation of the USA.

          “But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.” – Declaration of Independence, JULY 4, 1776

    • dpeters11 says:

      Is that why some car dealers have the biggest flags around? The flag code is an odd chicken. It’s Federal law, but there are no penalties for violations. It’s more of a suggestion.

      • Applekid ┬──┬ ノ( ã‚œ-゜ノ) says:

        Probably because it’s harder to steal big flags than small flags.

  7. PhillipSC says:

    he probably gave him an expired coupon…

    • dragonfire81 says:

      I was just wondering if the suspect happened to be an overweight man wearing a white shirt and green pants…

    • jerry101 says:

      It slightly amazes me that it took this many comments before someone mentioned the expired coupon.

      Darn chickens

    • PHRoG says:

      It took far longer for this to get mentioned than I expected!

      Epic Chicken Fight!

  8. Warren - aka The Piddler on the Roof says:

    Maybe he was handing out expired coupons.

    And was he selling chicken or sex jelly?

  9. Kentankerous says:

    Kinda reminds me of one of the old Burger King campaigns. This was back during the time of the creepy King.

  10. HalOfBorg says:

    Peter Griffin – had to be.

  11. HogwartsProfessor says:


    I would have laughed too. In fact, I just did. It was cool of the manager to stay out there with the employee, too. I’m sure the employee was kinda freaked out.