Consumerist reader Mike uses AT&T internet and home phone, but hasn’t bought into the U-verse TV situation. He says he’s got an antenna and Hulu Plus to make his TV viewing times a pleasurable experience. But that hasn’t stopped a seemingly made-up AT&T customer service rep named “Kelly” from sending him letter after letter, beseeching him to sign up to bundle in TV as well.

He says the phony personal letters have been arriving every three or four weeks for a long time now, and they’re always signed in a fake cursive font by one Kelly, “like we’re buds and she wants to chat me up on Facebook.”

Mike’s sick of Kelly and her pestering, and her waste of paper and postage. Sick to the darn bone.

So I started calling the number and asking to speak to Kelly, to tell her I’ll never get U-verse and please stop batting your eyelashes at me. Of course the friendly operators have no idea what I’m talking about, and Kelly is never around.

So I tell my little story and ask them politely to take me off Kelly’s mailing list. They vow to do just that, and the letters keep coming.

Kelly, stop being such a stalker. Mike doesn’t love you and he never will.

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