Billboard Warns Processed Meat Lovers: Hot Dogs Are Bad For Your Butt

Baseball’s Opening Day is upon us, the weather is warming up enough so that the smell of grilled meats is already wafting on the air, and yet a billboard in Chicago decides it’s a great time for a wiener buzzkill, warning, “Hot Dogs Cause Butt Cancer.” Sigh, health experts. Big ol’ sigh to you for ruining everything with your serious health messages.

The Chicago Tribune says the billboard, placed along the Eisenhower Expressway, is part of a campaign by the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine. Signs in other cities read: “Hot dogs can wreck your health” and “Hot dogs can take you out of the game.”

Chicago gets the butt cancer treatment because “Illinois men have among the nation’s highest colorectal cancer rates.”

Of course, the National Hot Dog & Sausage Council is bristling over this backhanded attack, calling the PCRM a “pseudo-medical animal rights group” and says the sign is just a publicity stunt to attack “hot dog safety in an effort to advance their goal to create a vegan society.”

“Hot dogs are part of a healthy, balanced diet,” said American Meat Institute President J. Patrick Boyle. “They come in a variety of nutrition and taste formulas and they are an excellent source of protein, vitamins and minerals. This group’s claims are on a collision course with the facts.”

Maybe just don’t eat two at a time on one bun. You know, cut back a little.

Eisenhower billboard: Frank talk about hot dogs, cancer []

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