One year ago today, Consumerist.com became a wholly owned subsidiary of Kabletown. But rather than celebrating the anniversary of this union, we have spent recent weeks locked in negotiations with our Kabletown overlords. Unfortunately, those discussions have proven fruitless. So unless a resolution is reached by midnight ET tonight, readers of Consumerist may be unable to cheer on their favorites in this year’s Worst Company In America tournament.
“This is just desperate gamesmanship on Kabletown’s part,” a source at Consumerist tells Consumerist about the looming threat of a blackout. “It’s inane that we should be compelled to pay carriage fees to Kabletown; first, it’s usually the cable channels that receive the fees from the cable companies, and second… well, we’re not a cable channel.”
While reps for Kabletown did not respond to our requests for comment (even though they repeatedly promised to do so between the hours of 8:00 and 2:00), they did however call to brag about their “frickin’ awesome” season tickets to Phillies games.
One immaculately dressed Kabletown insider with piercing blue eyes spoke to Consumerist on condition of anonymity.
“Normally I wouldn’t trust a cable company from Philadelphia to shine the shoes of the Cornell grad who shines my shoes,” said the source. “But Kabletown has shown me — shown us all — that businesses needn’t pass extra costs off on the customer when you have perfectly good employees willing to involuntarily surrender part of their salaries for the betterment of the shareholders.”
He adds, “Of course we are still going to pass those costs onto the customers, but that’s neither here nor there.”
If you are unable to access Consumerist because of the blackout and a standard over-the-air antenna doesn’t do the trick, we have aligned with a group of Alsatian anarchists to host a mirrored version of the site at WorstCompanyInAmerica.com.