Masturbating Walmart Shopper Banned From Any Store That Sells Kids Toys

You may remember the story from September about the man in Florida who was caught red-handed (or at least sweaty-palmed) pleasuring himself to a Sports Illustrated magazine in the toy section of his local Walmart. Now it looks like the man has cut a deal that would keep him out of jail — and away from the retail giant and any other store that sells toys for children.

The Smoking Gun obtained a copy of a court document showing that the 28-year-old, who spent around a month locked up after his arrest, has been sentenced to “community control,” which includes GPS monitoring and “no contact with Walmart or any other store where children’s toys are sold.”

For those of you coming late to this story, the man was accused of swiping a Sports Illustrated from the Walmart shelf, heading over to the toy section where he pleasured himself until he… um, finished… on the floor. Store employees say he then took the… results… of his efforts and wiped them on a nearby toy (a Star Wars lightsaber, to be precise).

Walmart Pleasure Seeker Barred From Retail Giant [TheSmokingGun.com]