Should This Be The New TSA Checkpoint Warning Sign?

Graphic designer Oleg Volk has come up with a prototype for a new TSA checkpoint warning sign. In several of the stories going around lately about TSA searches, the passengers say they were not fully aware of how, ahem, “in-depth” they would be. This sign would help rectify that issue.

(btw, the sign is just a riff on the signthe National Safe Place sign, an organization that helps youth in crisis)

Achtung, TSA! [olegvolk.livejournal via Dvorak]


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  1. minjche says:

    I lol’ed at “rectify” in this context.

  2. goldenargo85 says:

    Awesome I like it but it needs to be “full body”

  3. Mecharine says:

    Surprise hug !

  4. obits3 says:

    I think the black guy needs to bend over for it to be accurate.

    • Southern says:

      I was thinking the exact same thing, actually..

      But yeah, I don’t think the sign is nearly descriptive enough to be useful as a “warning” as to the level of contact that is made during the process.

      But then again, a sign that WOULD be descriptive enough would probably be illegal, or viewed as pornography.

  5. ARP says:

    Have the TSA agent’s head be slightly off to one side or the other and give him a menancing smile.

  6. Holybalheadedchrist! says:

    No, it needs something more to really convey the feeling of a puppet with a hand up its hay-oh!

  7. Mr. Fix-It says: "Canadian Bacon is best bacon!" says:

    “The TSA reminds all passengers that they will be subject to security screening and/or searches* prior to boarding their aircraft.”

    *Searches may include the sexual harassment of you, your family, and anyone you have ever known during the course of your entire human existence.

  8. incident man stole my avatar says:

    Just make it simple and do I as I do… wear a thong and flip flops for security and change into clothes after passing thru

  9. HalOfBorg says:


  10. Eat The Rich -They are fat and succulent says:

    Honestly, I am ok with searches. I will be certain to go “commando” and wear loose fitting clothing when I travel.

    Also, I will tape a plastic toy animal to my junk, just for fun.

  11. MaytagRepairman says:

    That needs to get onto a t-shirt.

  12. lupis42 says:

    TSA agents – sexually assaulting you for your “protection”

  13. deadandy says:

    Someone adds three orange circles to a SafePlace sign (which is now a copyright violation as a derivative work) and they get pimped on Consumerist as a “graphic designer”? Nice!

    • minjche says:

      Nice catch, that’s disappointing.

    • MaxH42 thinks RecordStoreToughGuy got a raw deal says:

      I think I saw this graphic in Cook’s Source first.

    • YOXIM says:

      Yeah I was wondering whether those circles belonged on there or were there to begin with. I actually took a photo of one such sign for a photography class project years ago. When I saw the article, I remembered it. I was wondering whether everyone else realized this was a “Safe Place” sign. It seemed like a pretty obvious thing to know.

    • Mr. Fix-It says: "Canadian Bacon is best bacon!" says:

      You could probably get away with anyways, if you made the argument that the intent of the image was as satire’ or parody.

      Since the ‘creator’ is trying to point out that a TSA Checkpoint feels like anything BUT a safe place, (yet claims to be!) the use of the SafePlace sign as the primary element of this image would be considered satirical.

      • deadandy says:

        Satire is only considered fair use if the creator provides attribution to the original, which they didn’t.

    • Rena says:

      To be fair, one of them is an oval.

    • Rena says:

      To be fair, one of them is an oval.

    • ZekeDMS says:


  14. RobHoliday says:

    Can I opt for a female TSA agent to “pat me down”? If so, I would get the pat down every time.

    • Back to waiting, but I did get a cute dragon ear cuff says:

      Have you seen the TSA agents?

    • 333 (only half evil) says:

      My son is flying alone for the first time tonight. My loving, motherly advice as he took his suitcase from the car and turned toward the terminal was, “Don’t let them touch your junk.”

  15. DH405 says:

    It doesn’t take a graphic designer to take the old “safe place” logo and add a face to it. :) I always did think those signs were weird, though.

  16. Kitten Mittens says:

    At least the passenger-to-be is coughing. Although, I thought you were supposed to turn your head first…

  17. Loridori4 says:

    Well maybe they could do all us women a favor and check for lumps, then examine those x-rays a little closer for suspicious masses. That alone would save me about $200 a year!

    • Mr. Fix-It says: "Canadian Bacon is best bacon!" says:

      But then they’d have to hire competent and intelligent employees! Those are expensive!

    • Megalomania says:

      What’s more likely though; that they’ll find a lump on the x-rays, or that they’ll give you cancer via the x-rays…

  18. Kevinsky says:

    Personally I think you should celebrate the launch of the new groping procedure with a cake like this Cakewrecks classic:

  19. Back to waiting, but I did get a cute dragon ear cuff says:

    All I can say is that I am lucky that I was not drinking coffee when I saw this.

  20. Loridori4 says:

    Afterthought: The groping, under the boob technique is not new. They did that to me in 2005 prior to boarding in Beaumont, TX, after I set off the metal detector. They asked me if I wanted a private screening. I said “no”. But I had no idea they were going to feel under my boobs! Was very embarrassing.
    Note to self: don’t wear underwire bras through security!

  21. Nogard13 says:

    I saw a guy getting a pat down the last time I traveled (last Sept) and I heard him tell the TSA agent how excited he was getting, that he was starting to get an erection, and that he normally at leasts gets coffee before being felt up that way by another man. He then asked the TSA guy for his number so he could go out on a date. The TSA guy was so flustered and frustrated with the guy that he had to excuse himself and the other TSA guy finished the pat down.

    Maybe that’s what we all need to do, make fun of them as they pat us down. They are making it more invasive to try to make us go through the X-Ray machine, so we might as well return the favor.

  22. rubicthecube says:

    If and when I ever get patted down; I’m just going to begin breathing heavily, arch my back, and eventually graduate my panting into full blown moaning. My leg may twitch, and at the end of It I’ll say “Where’s the smoking section?” I have to work on getting a chub on command.

  23. kayl says:

    OLEG Volk…

  24. rbb says:

    Needs to have the word “Squeal” under the TSA Checkpoint line.

  25. ElizabethD says:

    LOL Love it.

  26. StarVapor says:

    The picture should show at least one hand grabbing a crotch and several TSA agents
    clamoring around watching the molestation while making snide remarks.

  27. DeepHurting says:

    The new TSA logo should just be Goatse.

  28. ZIMMER! says:

    new avatar.

  29. hotcocoa says:

    All the ideas people have posted about how to screw with the agents who grope you if you need to be patted down are priceless. I’m a fan of acting like I’m getting turned on, but I think moaning and wiggling my butt would be inappropriate in front of kiddies. If there are none around, I’m def. going for it though.

  30. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot says:

    What’s with all the anti-TSA postings in the last few days, Consumerist? Slow news or something? And to all of you who scream about getting radiation poisoning/cancer from the screeners – why don’t you do a little homework? You get more radiation from just SITTING in a plane flying at a high altitude (or even sitting in front of a television!) than you do from the backscatter scanners. I see all these people saying “I’m NOT going to let my son/daughter go through the scanners and subject them to that deadly cancerous radiation!!!11eleventy!” but those same people have no problem with Little Johnny sitting for hours in front of a television getting 300x the radiation exposure….

  31. Duckula22 says:
  32. BlisteringSilence says:

    What I really love about this is that this sign is likely one of the only things that the gun-hating consumerists will enjoy that’s created by Oleg Volk.

    You know, the guy that founded and runs The High Road.

    It is a catchy sign though. I personally love some of his other work:

  33. jbandsma says:

    It’s almost a year old, but why isn’t anybody putting the report of the fact that Michael Chertoff is profiting from the sale of these scanners out there for people to see? Fear and profit. Seems like the former is driving the latter.

  34. bluline says:

    T-shirts! Gotta make T-shirts of this! Wear ’em to the airport!