Zagg Offers Free Shipping To Continental U.S., Mer-people Of Lake Michigan

Greg received this e-mail newsletter from Zagg, which doesn’t just offer free shipping. It makes a strange and wonderful secret known only to those Americans lucky enough to be on Zagg’s mailing list. According to this map, Lake Michigan either no longer exists, or is home to a secret society of iPhone-using, water-dwelling mer-people.


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  1. Joewithay says:

    I blame Paul Bunyan for not keeping Babe the Blue Ox under control

  2. anime_runs_my_life says:

    LOL, that is if you get ZAGG to actually ship when they say they will. I’ve yet to get anything from them that doesn’t take nearly a month to ship. I’ve given up getting anything from them and just use Amazon to buy ZAGG products.

    • mbz32190 says:

      At least you got your product. Tried ordering a phone protector 2 years ago or so, and never got them, even after they said they shipped a replacement (if I remember correctly, they did not provide any sort of tracking). Took a few threatening emails until they refunded my card.

      • anime_runs_my_life says:

        Yeah, if you go the economy shipping, they don’t provide a tracking number. This was a case of “oops, we forgot to ship it, so we’re going to wait another week before we really ship the product.”

  3. Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

    More importantly, Michigan’s upper penninsula has expatriated from its home state and has been annexed by Wisconsin.

  4. Torgonius wants an edit button says:

    It also appears that the Zagg version of the US has about 3/4 of Rhode Island annexed by Massachusetts, and South Carolina and Georgia are now one.

  5. ecludian says:

    I really hate the term continental US, they should just use contiguous US since that is more literal understanding of the area covered. Then you don’t need disclaimers like USA addresses in the lower 48 states only but that disclaimer is ambigous because DC is not a state.

    • trentblase says:

      And also because Hawaii is the southernmost (or “lowest”) state

    • Fafaflunkie Plays His World's Smallest Violin For You says:

      Not to mention Alaska’s still on the continent, as well. “The contiguous United States” would suffice. Or “excluding AK and HI” as most of these offers state.

  6. pop top says:

    That’s just really lazy map-making on their part. Most people are lazy about getting Michigan right though. It’s amusing to spot the inconsistencies in media.

    /native Michigander

    • Orv says:

      Yeah, I remember that for a long time UPS’s service map didn’t include the U.P.!

      • richcreamerybutter says:

        Many maps conveniently forget the U.P., or just wing it with some sort of flaccid phallic squiggle. In this case, I’m thinking Zagg knows full well that AT&T will most likely never provide any decent coverage in the area, so why bother?

  7. CapeMonkey says:

    Looks like they just used the political boundaries of the USA as they go through the Great Lakes. That’s not actually how New York is shaped either – it’s just not as noticeable.

    • Fafaflunkie Plays His World's Smallest Violin For You says:

      Thanks for pointing that out. You’re right. New York kind of swallowed half of Lake Ontario as well. Hopefully the water displacement flows out of the St. Lawrence and into the Atlantic, and not turn the Golden Horseshoe into the Lost City of Atlantis. Thankfully 1> I live in an apartment up high and 2> there’s a scuba gear shop across the street from here.

  8. JulesNoctambule says:

    Some errors are so obvious that I can’t help but wonder how ads containing them manage to get approval.

    • myCatCracksMeUp says:

      It’s because the people reviewing and approving them are not very smart.

      • JulesNoctambule says:

        Some of them must be a level of not-so-smart to the point where simultaneous walking and breathing presents a difficulty!

  9. zandar says:

    Caitlin Upton was right, we really DO need more maps.

  10. kingofmars says:

    Zagg did purchase golden-shellback’s splash proof coating technology, so it is possible that they are shipping to the mer-people of the great lake of Michigan.

  11. Pooterfish says:

    In addition to taking the UP, it appears Wisconsin has also annexed (and filled in) Lake Huron and Lake Superior.

    Behold the mighty Mega-Badger! Who’s laughing now, Garrison Keillor?

  12. lizzybeans11 says:

    The UP exploded!

  13. selkie says:

    It looks kind of like the alternate world United States map from Fringe.

  14. Minj says:

    Should have submitted it to Strange Maps.

  15. Michaela says:

    Someone failed geography…

  16. YouDidWhatNow? says:

    I knew it…Namor finally invaded and has taken possession of the great lakes. And apparently is having stuff shipped there. Vile, nefarious stuff.

  17. failurate says:

    That’s just Wisconsin’s muffin top over-flowing.

  18. Warren - aka The Piddler on the Roof says:

    Maybe it evaporated. Global warming?

  19. Rena says:

    The people of the Secret Province are not amused that their location has been disclosed.

  20. Bob Lu says:

    This map is clearly outlining the border line at the great lakes area. Bit weird, yes, but not really “wrong” imo.

  21. Dallaspp says:

    This is simply an attempt to fool the Asian carp into turning around and going back down the Mississippi. Lake? Lake Michigan you say? Sorry, no lake here, best you get back before you’re gills dry out.

  22. bumblefoot2004 says:

    The Great Lakes are actually there, it’s just REALLY SNOWY.