Forget that boring Fortune 500 list, with its Walmarts, oil companies and lack of vampires. The better list was released this week by Forbes, the one that not only includes vampires, but puts a bloodsucker squarely on top of the list.

In its annual ranking of the wealthiest fictional characters, Forbes calculated that Carlisle Cullen — the father of the vampiric Cullen clan from the Twilight novels and movies — is the most well-heeled character in the world with an estimated fortune of over $34 billion.

Forbes… explain yourself:

Immortal vampire and small-town doctor has quietly amassed a fortune over the centuries. In 1670 received generous handout from Italian friends; put savings in bank, reaped billions in compound interest. Made shrewd long-term investments in steel, gold, oil, thanks to prescience of daughter turned financial advisor Alice; saw recessions coming, invested early in Wal-Mart. Earned doctor’s salary for 340 years without paying for groceries, health care expenses. Avoids sunshine and public displays of wealth but owns several valuable properties, including yacht, private island, collection of Renaissance art.

Everyone’s favorite feathered billionaire Scrooge McDuck’s $33.5 billion — mostly in gold coins — was enough to put him in the #2 slot, while Richie Rich continues to creep us out in the third position with $11.5 billion.

Tony “Iron Man” Stark is only at #4 with $8.8 billion, though that may change depending on how well his sequel does this summer. And good ol’ Jed Clampett keeps sipping that Texas Tea to the tune of $7.2 billion and the final spot in the top five.

Here is the entire Forbes Fictional 15:
1. Carlisle Cullen (Twilight): $34.1 billion
2. Scrooge McDuck: $33.5 billion
3. Richie Rich: $11.5 billion
4. Tony Stark (Iron Man): $8.8 billion
5. Jed Clampett (Beverly Hillbillies): $7.2 billion
6. Adrian “Ozymandias” Veidt (Watchmen): $7 billion
7. Bruce Wayne (Batman): $6.5 billion
8. The Tooth Fairy (she’s real): $3.9 billion
9. Thurston Howell, III (Gilligan’s Island): $2.1 billion
10. Sir Tophamm Hatt (Thomas the Tank Engine): $2 billion
11. Artemis Fowl II : $1.9 billion
12. C. Montgomery Burns (The Simpsons): $1.3 billion
13. Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl): $1.1 billion
14. Jay Gatsby (The Great Gatsby): $1 billion
15. Lucille Bluth (Arrested Development): $950 million

The Forbes Fictional 15 [Forbes]

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