Scientific Proof That You Hate Christmas Creep

We’ve never doubted the fact that Christmas Creep is a nefarious plot to destroy Thanksgiving, Halloween, Columbus Day and even Labor Day (it’s run by a big eastern syndicate, you know). But we never had proof that our disgust with early Christmas promotions is shared by other consumers. That’s why we commissioned the Consumer Reports National Research Center to find out the truth.

Using state-of-the-art equipment like the Creepatron 2000 pictured here — okay, actually, this was a national poll — the CRNRC researchers learned that most Americans agree with us, and think the right time for retailers to begin decking the halls is this Friday. Fifty-four percent of poll respondents said merchants should wait until after Thanksgiving to start their holiday promotions.

Some consumers, however, seem to have been sucked into the early Christmas vortex and have no chance of escaping. Thirty-six percent said it was okay to begin hawking plastic mistletoe after Halloween, and 5 percent said they were cool with tinsel and garland right after Labor Day. One percent even said it was just fine to start before Labor Day. We can only assume that these folks live in a frozen tundra where the calendar is meaningless and they can see Russia from their snow-covered front porch. Either that, or they’ve decided that confining egg nog to just one season is cruel and unusual. And, you know, we may just be okay with that. But we’ll still fight the creep, until all retailers follow Nordstrom’s example and honor Thanksgiving in their hearts and keep it all the year.

When do you think it is appropriate for stores to start decorating for
and promoting the winter holidays?

Before Labor Day 1%
Between Labor Day and Halloween 5%
Between Halloween and Thanksgiving 36%
After Thanksgiving 54%
Never 1%
Don’t Celebrate Holidays 1%
Don’t Know 1%
Refused to Answer 1%
Source: Consumer Reports National Research Center

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