Mark had an impossible request for DirecTV: a one-line DVR and a SWM (Single Wire Multiline) Dish. Sure, it might seem like a normal work order, but the subcontracted installer, Bluegrass Satellite, couldn’t secure permission to install the necessary components even after several three-way calls with DirectTV. One exasperated installer explained that Mark wasn’t eligible to receive the equipment and gently told him: “[You] cannot have DirecTV and should stop trying.”

I had dropped DirecTV just before the 2006 OSU – Michigan game because at that time DirecTV didn’t have local HD and I had trouble getting consistent HD signals over the air.

DirecTV added local HD in Cincinnati and for about a year I have wanted to switch, but knew I couldn’t get a 2nd line to the TV and I really needed a DVR. This is a requirement my wife laid out. No DVR, no DirecTV.

Along comes DirecTV with a new dish and box that only needs one cable. I called up and made my appointment for Aug 22. I told them I needed that new one line DVR. They made a note on the work order. They were to arrive between 12-4.

Around 9:30am on Aug 22, the subcontractor (Bluegrass Satellite) doing the installation called and told my wife that I needed to call DirecTV and tell them to add a one line DVR to the work order or he couldn’t install. He said we would call back in an hour and check on us.

I called DirecTV and they said this was no problem.

Around 12:30 the subcontractor (Bluegrass Satellite) called and said there is nothing on the work order and this would also require a SWIM dish and he wasn’t trained on the install of that new model. He said I needed to call DirecTV and get that added. He also said his work order said he would need a 40 ft ladder and he didn’t have that. My old dish is located about 10 feet off the ground. I told him an 8 ft ladder would work and he could even borrow mine.

I called DirecTV and they said they couldn’t add specific models on work orders. Hmmm… The last person said they already added it.

Around 3:30, the subcontractor (Bluegrass Satellite) called to see if the installer had arrived yet. I said no, and explained the above. She said she would call the installer and the supervisor and call me back. She called me back and said I would need to call DirecTV and add the one line DVR and the SWIM dish to the work order. I said great, but they already told me I couldn’t do that. We got on a three way with DirecTV and DirecTV said sure no problem. Swim dish and one line DVR, you are good to go. I thanked the subcontractor (Bluegrass Satellite) and asked if we were still getting installed today. She said she would call back.

Around 4:15 the subcontractor (Bluegrass Satellite) called back and said it wasn’t on the work order still. I would need to call DirecTV, specify that I needed a Swim dish and one line DVR and get a new appointment. in a couple weeks. I warned her that DirecTV already told me that they couldn’t do that.

Around 4:30 I called DirecTV and they told me they couldn’t do that. They could cancel my order or give me a new appointment. I asked for a supervisor and explained everything again. I explained my catch 22 and she offered to do a three way with the subcontractor (Bluegrass Satellite). She put me on hold for awhile and then disconnected me.

I then called the subcontractor (Bluegrass Satellite) direct. I got a new person. He told me I wasn’t eligible for the SWIM dish and one line DVR. It was for first time customers only. I cannot have DirecTV and should stop trying.

I then called DirecTV, new person of course, ran thru the details. They said that was crazy, offered to do a three way. This time they didn’t hang up, but the subcontractor (Bluegrass Satellite) had ended their office hours. He said he would escalate this and that would force the subcontractor (Bluegrass Satellite) to call me. That was around 5:30pm on Friday Aug 22. As of Sunday, I haven’t heard from them. Maybe they will call Monday?

On Saturday, Aug 23rd, I called DirecTV and tried to get on a 3way with bluegrass. I was put on hold for 17 min and the call was dropped.

I called back. new person, ran thru the story. was told I had a new appt for sept 8. really? who booked that? this work order included a SWIM dish. are you sure? i was told you couldn’t do that. he told me i could see it online.

i went online and it didn’t have a swim dish.

i called back and moved the appt to a Saturday sept 13. why take another day off? the lady was nice enough. said if i had directv, she could give me HBO free for a month!! Of course, I don’t have it yet. who knows if they will show this time. The work order still doesn’t specify a SWIM dish.

You shouldn’t have to suffer without television for three weeks because DirecTV can’t get their act together. Email DirecTV’s mustachioed executive and ask for the service you deserve. And that free month of HBO.

( Photo: meghannmarco)

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.