Modell’s own peculiar definition of “low price guarantee, we will beat any ad” surprised reader Randy when he tried to get them to honor it on a baseball glove he bought, as it would even the most casual student of Logic or Semantics. He writes:

I bought a baseball glove at Modell’s a couple of weeks ago (in Manhattan.) I was in a hurry and so didn’t have a lot of time to shop around or wait for delivery. I found one I liked at paid $49.99 for it. On the back of the receipt, it says the following: “MO’S LOW PRICE GUARANTEE” WE WILL BEAT ANY AD… ANY DAY AND REFUND 25% OF THE DIFFERENCE See stores for details.” A little while later, I noticed that Dick’s Sporting Goods and the Sports Authority were both selling the glove for $29.99. So, I went back to the store with a copy of one of their ads and asked about the guarantee, hoping to get either the difference, 25% of the difference, or, most logically, 125% of the difference – that would be “beating” the price, right? The response I got was surprising, to say the least.

According to the clerk, they would only match their own prices. That is, if the price drops later, they’ll match it… I think. This seemed wholly inconsistent with the idea of “beating any ad.” After all, wouldn’t their policy be more like, “We’ll match our own subsequent lower price!” ??

My gut instinct told me that this couldn’t be right, or perhaps it was just an NYC thing. After all, we get screwed on specials all the time. So, I called their corporate number to find out what the official policy was. I spoke with a very nice lady named “Melanie” who said that the clerk was in fact slightly misinformed. Here’s the actual policy:

Modell’s will beat a competitor’s REGULAR price. However, since I was looking at a sale price, they couldn’t match it.

I politely asked her how often competitor’s advertise their regular prices – isn’t the whole point of the advertisement, typically, to show what’s on sale? She said that yes, in fact, that did seem odd, but that that was the policy. No price match for me – it was on sale.

Essentially, Modell’s will guarantee that their products are being sold at MSRP. Hooray!

Ah, we get it now. See store for details means “see store for the details of our non-participatory caveats and disclaimers.” If that’s the way they’re going to play, I definitely don’t “Gotta Go To Mo’s.“

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