Walmart Takes Phallic "Fun Straws" Seriously

WHO: Walmart
WHAT: A Kentucky mother was outraged that Walmart stocked phallus-shaped fun straws. When she called to complain, “they were very rude with me about it. They acted like I was lying, like I was making it all up. You know, I would never make something up like that, especially about my little girl. But, that’s just how they treated me and it’s just not right.”
WHERE: Questionable Straw Shape Upsets Mother [WSAZ] (Thanks, Mark!)
THE QUOTE: “At Wal-Mart we take customer questions and concerns seriously. After being contacted on this matter, Wal-Mart pulled the product in question from our shelves and is investigating the claim. Of course, our customer is welcome to return the item for a refund, if they would like.”
BONUS: WSAZ launched a classy investigation into the incident, which appears after the jump.

“Taking it seriously” is a phrase companies use over and over again in public statements whenever they have bad PR. Our series of posts on occurrences of the phrase is our attempt to question how seriously companies are really taking these matters if every time they trot out this phrase by rote.


Edit Your Comment

  1. I enjoy drinking the free two liter bottle of Pepsi I got for signing up for the fee laden Wal*Mart credit card with a phallic straw, all while wearing my nazi t-shirt!

  2. speedwell (propagandist and secular snarkist) says:

    I can understand how this could have been totally innocent and unfortunate on the part of the toy manufacturer. I’m normally the type who gives the utmost benefit of the doubt. But gee, they do look way too much like a… I mean, the straw leads right out the tip… I just can’t help it, this time it really does look like what the poor dirty-minded woman thought it did.

  3. prameta1 says:

    hahaha, what a ridiculous individual! all this woman did was tip her cards to what a dirty mind she’s got. those straws were far from looking like obvious male anatomy.

  4. Half Beast says:

    I mean c’mon…anyone with a working set of eyes can clearly tell that’s genitalia-shaped…
    or maybe rocket-shaped…
    or maybe Gloop and Gleep shaped…
    that’s it…

    Why are people hating on Herculoid straws? :(

  5. magnus150 says:

    I’m gonna go buy me some of those before they stop selling them! Look great for parties.

  6. Crrusher says:

    oh no the straw looks like a penis, whatever will we do? the world is going to end!

  7. mgy says:

    They appear to be in clear packaging…why did she buy them?

    (I FFed through the video – I don’t care what she has to say)

  8. IcarusRisen says:

    Obviously those are made in China, where they’re not familiar with… wait, no, that explanation doesn’t work either.

  9. shiftless says:

    Couldn’t she save them for herself? They are hilarious!

  10. kelrod says:

    @speedwell: Innocent on the part of the manufacturer? If not a penis-shaped straw, what the heck is it supposed to be?

    Don’t really know how the purchasing division missed that one, I mean, I would expect this kind of item from a Spencer’s, but Wal-Mart?

  11. zeepow says:

    I honestly doubt that a child is going to make that correlation. It’s a freakin’ straw.

  12. It’s especially funny when used to drink milk.

  13. humphrmi says:

    @Crrusher: Agreed. We should all shut up unless the problem at hand will actually cause the world to end.

  14. kelrod says:

    @kelrod: OK, now that I’ve read the actual article, it does seem like it could very well be a case of dirty-mind.

  15. cde says:

    Have a giggle then GTFOI.

  16. silentnight913 says:

    Fun straws…how aptly named.
    If it had been an entire package of trouser snake shaped straws it would be one thing. But they hid them in with the innocent shapes, so many parents probably wouldn’t even notice.

  17. mgy says:

    @silentnight913: I am glad you pointed that out. I take back my previous comment on wondering why she would purchase them.

    Of course, she could still throw them out. By her words “it’s all she can think about”. Are the straws really the problem?

  18. brownpau says:

    I don’t see what’s so offensive about straws shaped like SR-71 Blackbirds.

  19. Cliff_Donner says:

    You DON’T want to suck it???

    You BET I take it seriously. And personally.

  20. pinkbunnyslippers says:

    Oh – they pulled these straws huh? just like they pulled the Nazi t-shirts, right?

  21. Cliff_Donner says:

    If you want to pull it, that would be fine too.

  22. dharma261 says:

    Beside the fact this comments don’t seem to work in firefox beta 4. I would place this as catagory STUPID, sometimes shapes happen that nobody really thinks about. Get over it, and move on. It is a silly straw, I am sure that when they made it they didn’t go “lets make a penis shape”. It sounds like some religious fundmentalist that has lot of time on her hands. No offense to Christians but come on.

  23. darkclawsofchaos says:

    you shouldn’t be using those strws anyway if one is truly concern parent, bet ya it leaks BPA

    And besides, the shape isn’t a problem, I mean dogs has to eat those shapes everyday or starve, not that they mind []

  24. I love those straws, I want some

    @Cliff_Donner: too funny! :)

    I read the article and it doesn’t say who she called at Wal-Mart. If she simply called the local walmart where she got them, I can understand why the employee she spoke to might have thought it was a joke. Seriously, when I was a kid, in the days before *69 and caller ID, this is exactly the kind of crank call I might have made… I once called a construction company with the word “Erection” in their name and left a message that I was really offended…. sad thing is I did that when I was 22, because the cable was out and I was bored.

    This makes me want to find out how these straws are made, :) I wonder if there is a “How It’s Made” on these wacky type straws…. I’m thinking there has got to be a CAD pattern or something and they just put those instructions into the machine somehow telling it what directions to bend the plastic… or something like that… and some CAD guy slipped a dick into the patterns…

  25. ageshin says:

    It could be a pear, a man siting in meditation as seen from the rear, a tool used to flatten and tenderise meat, an upside down mushroom, a snowman that’s been two long in the sun, or anything else one can think of, but phallic, nooooo.

  26. silentnight913 says:

    @dharma261: I don’t think religion really comes into play. These straws are targeted at young children. You don’t have to be religious to believe that young children should not be drinking from penis straws.

  27. bombaxstar says:

    Kentucky mother + Wal-Mart + phallic straws = lololol

  28. Jcakes says:

    Clearly this woman has used these straws on at least ONE occasion.


    Morons procreating. Loooovely

  29. acasto says:

    @mgy: maybe you would know why she bought them if you came down off your high-horse long enough to watch the video. Then you might see that they came in a multi-pack and was mixed in with other various shapes.

  30. dantsea says:

    What’s wrong with drinking through a penis?

  31. JohnOB1 says:

    He said “shoot us an email,” BWAH HA HA HA! It’s funny, because male genitals SHOOT semen! FUNNY!

  32. Techno Viking says:

    Hey American dumb female. Do you fucking understand that kids don’t give a crap about it becauee they are not interested in it and don’t see it as a penis with balls. Only your sick mind can interpret that shape as a so called private area (Penis). In what direction is this country going to. Walmart, don’t take that crap from this dumb woman. Pretty pathetic that’s all I can say. I am amazed that even news would cover this. It’s a freaking rocket ship. You know what dumb American female. Go and get laid or better yet, don’t reproduce at all. Many of you will agree with me on that one. Politicians are dumb, and now mothers are dumb. I think she grew up in a family that denied her sex until she got married. What a crazy bitch.

  33. Techno Viking says:


    Because any sane person would not view straws as a penis. But apparently in her mind, even a pen or a pencil is a nice long sexy penis. She needs a good spanking by her family or by her husband.

  34. s2eb779 says:

    She is going to be the type of mother that never speaks to her daughter about sex, and then wonder why her kid is knocked up at 15.

  35. cjdmi says:

    While I agree that the shape is suggestive of male genitals, I think the designers could have done a much better job if that’s what they intended. This is just a case of everyone seeing the headline PHALLIC STRAWS first and then seeing the picture. Of course with that kind of prompting you’re going to think … ‘that does kind of look like a penis straw.’

    For me, the first image to pop to mind was my kid’s baby toy key ring. It’s got 5 plastic keys with different colors and shapes. Of course now I have to destroy one of the keys…

  36. Trai_Dep says:

    Well, to be fair, they are labeled as Fun Straws. And what, I ask, can be more fun than a big, fat penis? Anyone? Anyone?!

  37. Greasy Thumb Guzik says:

    And not so much fun for drinking lemonade!

  38. ClankBoomSteam says:

    I was kinda bored, and I paused the video on the close-up of the receipt; the info therein calls into question just how concerned with her child’s welfare this woman really is. Some of the items visible on the receipt:

    Candy Pops
    Fruit Punch
    Mountain Dew
    Chocolate Syrup
    Pop Tarts
    Chocolate Frosted something or other

    Yikes. Forget penises, this woman should concern herself with childhood diabetes…

  39. Trai_Dep says:

    “Sad Straws” would be MUCH smaller and made of less rigid plastic.

  40. CharlieSeattle says:

    @kelrod: Are you afraid of peni?

  41. CharlieSeattle says:

    @ClankBoomSteam: Just what I was thinking.

  42. humorbot says:

    Well that’s the last time I buy Faceshot brand fun straws.

  43. mikeluisortega says:

    Sounds like this lady needs some penis rather then worrying about the alleged penis shaped straws. Really people, will walmart have to pull hotdogs and bananas because they just might resemble a penis? Is it China’s masterplan that the straws turn Americas youth into raging homosexuals? No, it’s just a straw nuff said.

  44. joemono says:

    That is not the Bill Murray I know and love.

  45. faust1200 says:

    She has one child and is pregnant with another? Obviously she is not offended by penises.

  46. forgottenpassword says:


    I just got home from a miserable night at work to see this!

    Thanks COnsumerist… you just made me laugh! I needed that.

  47. Benny Gesserit says:

    @Trai_Dep: Nothing, that’s what!

    @faust1200: She’s bought into the story that it’s the (I’m not Yank bashing when I say this) it’s the US Government’s job to protect her and her children from EVERYTHING. Sad, really. Kids are in for a helluva shock when they find out that’s just not true.

  48. irid3sc3nt says:

    Hah, there IS a “How It’s Made” for silly straws. The one they show is made by hand by heating the plastic and wrapping it around a peg-design. I’m guessing the straws in question probably weren’t manufactured that way, though.

    I knew that SOMEONE had to comment on Bill Murray. It’s an awesome addition to the story.

  49. DeltaPurser says:

    If she’s sooooo offended by the male reproductive organ, how did she end up pregnant in the first place?!?!?!?!??!?!!?

  50. eskimo81 says:

    Pffft……I’m bigger than that.

  51. cde says:

    @eskimo81: That’s not what she said >_>

  52. thirdbase says:

    Hello Walmart customer service.
    Yes, thank you i’ll hold.
    Hi. Yes i’m here.
    I would like to know if you have any dick straws available.

  53. razremytuxbuddy says:

    The WSAZ closeup photos of the straw say “click to enlarge.”

  54. catchthefever says:

    Probably the same woman who led a campaign against the U. of Kentucky Wildcat with a penis tongue.


  55. JeffMc says:

    Wouldn’t Freud say that sometimes a straw is just a straw?

  56. Hoss says:

    Corporate: Well, sales of the Tricky Dickie line slowed, so we just tried to cut our losses.

  57. ClayS says:

    @Techno Viking:
    Hey annoying European male, what are you doing here if you have such a low opinion of America?

  58. cde says:

    @ClayS: Word to the wise, the Internet != America only. Jeez.

  59. TangDrinker says:

    Most of the people who comment on this site probably don’t see what the big deal is. But most of the people who shop at WalMart probably do see what the big deal is. WalMart tries to be “family friendly” and “Christian-like” – and if their customer base finds something sold offensive, I would hope they would take action on it.

    I personally am going to stop by and see if I can find some of those straws myself – I think they’d make great gag gifts – without the shame of going into an “adult” store.

  60. Onouris says:

    @ClayS: Wow. That comment must be pretty insulting to the other Americans here as a whole.

    Not only do you apparently believe that if someone isn’t American they must be ‘European’ (because obviously no other continents exist), but you also actually believe there’s such a thing as a ‘European’ person.

    I’d be embarrassed, I honestly would.

  61. SkyeBlue says:

    Phallic? I think it looks more like Dolly Parton!

  62. vastrightwing says:

    @BayStateDarren: Got Milk?

  63. Michael Belisle says:

    @Techno Viking: Of course local news would cover it. They need something when they run out of crime and cute missing girls.

  64. Michael Belisle says:

    @CharlieSeattle: You mean penes.

    @DeltaPurser: She’s just thinking of her daughter, who umm… I don’t know, has to wait until she’s older to learn the difference between boys and girls? Think of the children!

    @cjdmi: You know, there’s a quiz called Sex Toy or Baby Toy? Try to look at any baby toy the same after that.

  65. @s2eb779: I’m totally repressing the urge to make a tacky joke about teenaged prostitution training.

  66. @s2eb779: Yes Ms. Spears, we understand your daughter(s) are innocent little angels, and you don’t want them exposed so they will remain pure until their 20’s. Yes, we take this very seriously.

  67. maruawe42 says:

    This woman must have a vivid imagination and the newsman is having a slow day..I am not a walmart fan but this borders on ridiculous,

  68. ClayS says:

    No, I don’t believe that anyone not from America is European, but the poster to whom I responded has said he is from Europe.

    And I certainly don’t have a problem with Europeans. I just didn’t see why he needed to call this woman an “American dumb female”. He can disagree with her opinions (and I do as well) without denigrating her nationality.

  69. jefino says:

    Just put the straws next to the vibrators they sell, and they will be fine.

  70. Aphex242 says:

    What kills me is this quote of hers:

    “You know, I would never make something up like that, especially about my little girl.”

    …huh? I thought we were talking about straws, here.

  71. cuiusquemodi says:

    Wait, so if I’m morally outraged by something sold at Wal-Mart, I need not only console myself with not buying it, I can complain to Wal-Mart and get it pulled from the shelf?

    Rick Warren (books), your days are numbered.

  72. bohemian says:

    This woman obviously has some screwed up issues surrounding sex. The one you should feel sorry for is her daughter. Imagine being a teenager (at some point) around a mother freaked out by drinking straws because she finds them too sexually explicit.

    I think the straw looks like a pear or a squash. But now I have an idea for a great new adult novelty!

  73. Me - now with more humidity says:

    Time to freshen the chlorine in the gene pool again.

  74. Maulleigh says:

    LOL! That kills me that the initial sales person was like, “Whatever.” Totally inappropriate.

  75. sarsbar says:

    As ridiculous as it is for this to be aired as “news,” I could see where this mom is coming from if some straw one way or another caused her to envision her toddler drinking cumulative gallons of her artificially flavored, artificially colored, artificially preserved corn syrup tonic through a plastic penis.

    @ClankBoomSteam: Totally!

  76. scoosdad says:

    Look for them to move from Wal-Mart into the dollar stores.

  77. Oh no! Something shaped like a part of the human body that roughly fifty percent of the population is born with, and is necessary for the survival of the species!!!

  78. iambeaker says:

    I think we are all missing the point here. Did you see some of the stuff she bought on her reciept? She bought radiator fluid, candy, pop, cake, and other “nutritous” food for her and her kid. I think that phallic shaped straws is the least of her concerns.

    P.S. It irritates the hell out of me when kids drink from straws on TV… Don’t know why..

  79. MrMold says:

    Even if this female is a Darwin Award finalist, her point is that the straw is not appropriate for children. I agree. It’s bad enough to have abstinence-only preggers-ed but now we have practice toys. Ewwww. Save it for Spring Break.

  80. less_is_best says:

    Man, she is ballsy! Pretty cocky too!

  81. wildness says:

    How would a 3 year girl be prepared to make the connection to what it is shaped like? Especially, since the mother seems to have a serious hang up over the concept (poor father).

  82. wildness says:

    We should ban straws as the are a waste of oil – teach that kid to drink out of a cup like the it was intended.

  83. Techno Viking says:


    Educational and cultural purposes, you? Oh that’s right, I am here to study how Americans have nothing to do but to go and complain on consumerist about other people’s comments. Dude, relax and have a nice day. Everywhere you go there are smart people, and then there are not so smart people. Who you are, depends on your actions. Prove me wrong if u can, prove me wrong and then I will change my mind. of course, doing that is beyond your capability so let’s just not talk about it as facts speak for themselves. Have a nice day American.

  84. redhand32 says:

    The scary thing to me is that this “young mother” (an issue in itself) will probably be eligible to vote in a Presidental election. Her vote counts the same as anyone else’s who could be intelligent. No wonder we have Bush/Cheney, a trillion dollar war, the Walmartization of America, real estate equity meltdown, recession, unchecked corporate criminality, and the thousands of “legal” scams cited on this website.

    Boy, I’m glad this “young mother” is making me safer from phallic straws, rocket straws, squiggly straws, or whatever the silly thing is. Wouldn’t you want a toddler to learn to drink from a conventional cup or glass ? Silly me.

  85. xanax25mg says:

    im so grateful i live in america rather than Kentucky

  86. CMU_Bueller says:

    She’s just mad because they used the shape of her brothers phallus without permission.

  87. This is what happens when you shop in stores full of low priced crap produced in factories with no quality control. They probably ARE penis straws intended for adult stores, but when you’re making 27 cents a day packing straws, are you really paying that much attention to what’s getting packaged together?

    That said, her “what’s going to happen to other families?” comment is priceless. Clearly, vaguely penis-shaped straws are the greatest threat the American family has ever faced.

  88. JohnOB1 says:

    @Hossofcourse: Cut? or uncut our losses? D’OH!

  89. JohnOB1 says:

    @ClankBoomSteam: “Save money, Live Better” is WalMart’s motto after all.

  90. pkrieger says:

    How concerned can she be about exposing her daughter to those “graphic images” when the little girl is sitting right next to her during the interview, watching intently as her mother discusses parts of the male anatomy.

  91. AlphaTeam says:

    I’d get one of my own.

  92. BoraBora says:

    @Techno Viking: HI pot, meet kettle.

    I look forward to your rambling nonsensical reply.

  93. ahwannabe says:

    Wal-Mart gets the customers they deserve.

    Anyway, it’s not a phallus, it’s the Bell Labs logo.

  94. Kishi says:

    Hmm. She may think genitalia, but I’m thinkin’ Arbys.

  95. missdona says:

    I figured it out. It’s butternut-squash shaped straws. They’re not phallic at all!

  96. Brie says:

    I take it the victimized little girl doesn’t have a baby brother, or has never seen a baby boy during a diaper change?

  97. slapstick says:

    I don’t know which is better, the ridiculous overreaction of this woman or the borderline misogynistic comments suggesting that a good dickin’ll set ‘er straight!

  98. thelushie says:

    @TangDrinker: No you are wrong. Most of the people who commented at WSAZ were incredibly cruel to her. We get this station and I did notice that it fizzled pretty quick after everyone made their jokes. We have real problems around here like murders and the drug trade. It also caused debate in the newsroom as some thought it wasn’t a story. It was more comic relief than anything.

    And some of you who made some pretty crazy assumptions, remember, others can come on this site and make some pretty asinine assumptions about people here.

    My take on the what will happen to other families. Hopefully it would inspire some good conversation between parent and child.

  99. thelushie says:

    @bohemian: Agree completely! She could not even say the word penis.

  100. slapstick says:

    I don’t know which is better, this woman’s ridiculous overreaction or the borderline misogynistic comments suggesting that a good dickin’ll set ‘er straight!

    This comment may appear twice, so enjoy it double.

    (Also companies already make novelty penis straws, I discovered this at a recent bachelorette party. They are much more obviously phallic than these.)

  101. @iambeaker: She bought radiator fluid, candy, pop, cake, and other “nutritous” food for her and her kid.
    I bet she got those wacky straws so she could get her daughter to drink the radiator fluid. :p

    @JeffMc: Wouldn’t Freud say that sometimes a straw is just a straw?
    I dunno, Freud was kind of obsessed with dicks, and obsessed with what people who didn’t have dicks thought of dicks and so on – ya know, the whole “penis envy” theory and all… :/

    What gets me is – ok I can sort of understand why she might want to call the WalMart and complain, but when did she make the decision that she should alert the news? It’s not like the newsfolk overheard this on the police scanner; this woman must have called the news herself. That’s the nutty part if you ask me.

  102. SaraAB87 says:

    If it isn’t phallic then what is it supposed to be, it just looks like a blob. I can’t imagine a kid wanting a pear or squash shaped straw… that just doesn’t make sense. Usually these straws are a spiral or something like that.

  103. parse says:

    @SaraAB87: If it isn’t phallic then what is it supposed to be, it just looks like a blob. I can’t imagine a kid wanting a pear or squash shaped straw…

    Wait, you can’t imagine a kid wanting a pear-shaped straw, but you can imagine a kid wanting a dick-shaped straw?

  104. BoraBora says:

    @parse: If I were a kid, me and all of my friends would have gone to Walmart to buy ALL them. “Look it’s shaped like a dick, hahaha”

    Or, more likely, I would have convinced my unsuspecting mom to buy them for me, and then bragged to my friends that I tricked my mom into getting them.

  105. privatejoker75 says:

    This country fucking baffles me. It’s a twisty straw. Maybe if this whore got more actual cock in her life, she wouldn’t be seeing it in a straw

  106. speedwell (propagandist and secular snarkist) says:

    @privatejoker75: I’m sure the ineffable irony of calling someone a whore and, in the same breath, implying they don’t get enough cock isn’t lost on the rest of us.

  107. Antediluvian says:

    I hope no one tells her how regular straws are actually urethra-shaped or she’ll try to have those removed, too.

  108. Antediluvian says:

    And for the love of God, please keep her away from the garden hoses!

    Oh, and bananas. And sporting goods. Oh, the sporting goods section!

  109. Moosehawk says:

    Nowadays, what can’t you buy that isn’t shaped like a penis?

  110. Parting says:

    Now the kids will know that their mother is a frek with a dirty mind.

    (Their friends will tell them that for sure).

    Attention-whore. If she would be younger, she’d be doind Big Brother # something.

  111. @Antediluvian: Oh, the sporting goods section!

    I hope she doesn’t see the shuttlecocks.

  112. moorem2 says:


    the really sad thing is, since we live in the same state, it’s her vote that is going to cancel mine out.

  113. drjayphd says:

    @SaraAB87: (Smoochy holds up a penis-shaped cookie made by Randolph)
    Randolph: What are you, blind? It’s a cock! It’s not a rocket, you sick fuck! It’s a cock! Look. It’s a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It’s a big stiffy! It’s a penis! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don’t you see that? It’s Jimmy and the twins! Rumple Foreskin! He made this! It’s made from dil-dough!

  114. Michael Belisle says:

    @speedwell: Excellent observation, my friend.

  115. privatejoker75 says:

    @speedwell: FYI…you can be a cock-deprived whore. It’s actually the lowest level of whore-dom

  116. StockC says:

    What phallus? It’s obviously the head and arms of the Virgin Mary! As soon as I can buy some, they’ll go on sale on eBay. Look for them in the morning. Am I offered $2000 for the right to buy the first Virgin Mary straw?

  117. Bill Brasky says:

    What a “Cock”-n-Bull story…Praise walmart for not “dicking” around. This is why they “Blow” the competition away.

    Thank you, I’m here all week.

    Tip the veal, try your waitress.

  118. DeltaPurser says:

    @Kishi: :-) You’re right… Get your mind out of the gutter, lady!

  119. midwestkel says:

    Those are not as bad as if you typed in “penis straw” on google. Now those are bad…

  120. wring says:

    my gays would love this. give me a hundred!

  121. BugMeNot2 says:


    Please, please, please! Language! It’s a shuttlepenis.

  122. girly says:

    @Jim (The Canuck One): huh? I missed the part where she appealed to the government?

  123. bbbici says:

    Kids probably wouldn’t even know that’s a penis shape unless it was pointed out to them.

    I doubt anyone in the chinese factory recognizes that as a penis either.

  124. theblackdog says:

    @IcarusRisen: So should there be a “Chinese Penis Train” tag on this entry?

  125. takotchi says:

    You know, at first I thought this woman just had a dirty mind… however, in a discussion on another site about this story somebody posted this site selling penis straws:


    (2nd row/2nd column) You have to admit, they look identical, and these are actually being marketed as dick-shaped straws.

  126. Wonderlandless says:

    Hi, I’m from Kentucky and I felt the need to say we’re not all like her. Some of us in our state actually have a brain and a normal, non-hick accent.

    Phallic shaped straw? Give me a break, its a freakin’ rocket ship. The mom probably hasn’t had any in awhile and is seeing phallic shapes in ordinary items…or she wants her fifteen minutes of fame and some extra money.

  127. ExcelsiorDDZ says:

    I hate this lady for complaining and ruining my fun!

    I went to Walmart last night and found them, went to register with a few more item and tried to check out and was met with “This sale is restricted!” on the register. So I could not purchase them. The cashier looked into it and told me that they were made in China and probably full of lead. hehehe

    No straws for me.

  128. Consumer007 says:

    No, she can’t just laugh, set it aside, say “what a silly shape” to her daughter and then use it for fun with her husband…no, like a typical trailer trash Christian freak-head, she has to get herself on television and have a pissy party.

    Well, congrats to her, she has found a whole new market for the manufacturer – adult novelty stores.

    Wal-fart should probably not be the target of her irre – their child slaves probably didn’t shape them.

    This is a classic case of trailer trash female versus trailer trash corporation though – gotta love it.

    On a more positive note, it also does show that consumers, no matter how ridiculous they are CAN get a news crew to cover their story.

    Some other thoughts:

    I wonder if other trailer trash females will sue claiming discrimination because there were no “femaile” shaped straws, lol. I’m sure the lesbians will find these straws very offensive lol.

  129. SaraAB87 says:

    @drjayphd: Oh but we should be using this as an opportunity to explain the human body to our children…

  130. bailey08 says:

    I just want to say I am the mother from the story and I would really like to know why you all care so much about what I do to protect my daughter.You find so much humor in all this I would hate to know what your kids are like.And also when I talked to WSAZ I told the news man I DIDN’T want to be on TV but he said he thought I had a heck of a story and he wanted me to go on the news to stand up for it.That’s the only reason I was on TV.Because I was very ticked over the whole situation and I wanted them to know and other people to see how important places like Wal-Mart really think their customers are. It’s not like I begged him to put me on there. All I wanted was the straws off the shelves and a little respect.And as far as whatever else was on my receipt,I am 8 months pregnant! I crave alot of different things so I always make sure I have them! My little girl is happy and healthy and has no idea what this was all about.I just think it’s bull they put something you can buy from some sex store in a bag of straws for children.If I’m dumb,stupid,crazy,or whatever else you have said for trying to keep stuff like that away from my little girl, then oh well. Say whatever you want but I’ll keep protecting her from as many things in this mostly twisted world we live in for as long as I can!

  131. bailey08 says:

    Oh and one more thing, Please quit saying i live in Kentucky because I don’t!!

  132. meaverly says:

    I wouldn’t want my kid using an overtly phallic straw, either.

    Consumerist eds, is the level of misogyny in the comments of this post really acceptable? Calling this woman a whore and trailer trash and so on is unbelievably gross.

    @bailey08: I’m sorry for all the abuse in the comments. You don’t deserve that.