If you don’t like high pressure sales environments, stay the hell out of Gold’s Gym. Seattlest tried to sign up for a membership yesterday but was so put-off by the confusing sales pitch that they just walked out.

We walked in, asked for a membership rep and filled out some paperwork. We were called over to a desk and after a short discussion of goals (“I just want to work out”), the magic tricks started. They could knock $100 off the registration fee, with payments of $60/month. That could be lowered contingent on us getting a few appointments with a personal trainer. We don’t need a personal trainer, but we’re not averse to getting some pointers either. We hesitated, and the numbers kept tumbling, dropping off of the registration, monthly fee (minimum one year contract), and even the personal training if we went through that one rep. The rep then started writing numbers down in groups in a flurry of circles and lines, attempting to show us our “options.” Instead it felt like an Excel spreadsheet had exploded, and we pulled the “we’re still looking at our options” card just to get out of this one-sided negotiation.

We walked in ready to give you money Gold’s Gym, and you went and screwed it up with your confusing numerology, turning what should have been a simple signup into a walk out. Is it too much to ask that you just have a price independent of caveats and conditions?

Signing up for a gym membership is worse than buying a car. Don’t fall for all the paper scribbling, it’s the oldest trick in the book. All that double talk is meant to confuse you into overestimating how much you’ll use the gym and what services you’ll need. Decide what you want, go back and demand it. If they say “no,” leave.

Gold’s Gym Broadway: Working the Un-Sell [Seattlest](Thanks, James and Seth!)

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