Are you a karma queen or a geek god? A couple of fancy New York branding types have released a new book that suggests several new consumer “types,” including those two as well as the “innerpreneur,” the “denim dad,” and the “parentocrat.”

The list of consumer types reads like a description of D&D races, so we’ll assign some character stats to them for added value. You’re welcome, marketing agencies.

Karma Queen — “A woman aged in her 40s or 50s who tends to buy organic food, wear Birkenstock footwear, practice yoga and buy high-end bath products.” Alignment: Lawful Good

• Strength: 7
• Dexterity: 18
• Constitution: 12
• Intelligence: 12
• Charisma: 13
• Wisdom: 11

Geek Gods — “Men aged under 35 who can’t live without the latest gadget and are eager to help others understand their electronics. They are considered the most benevolent of the consumer types.” Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

• Strength: 14
• Dexterity: 6
• Constitution: 12
• Intelligence: 16
• Charisma: 12
• Wisdom: 2

Innerpreneurs — “The rebels, people who ignore trends and focus on their own peace of mind. Such consumers may be in the market for a life coach or challenging vacation in the wilderness.” Alignment: Neutral Evil

• Strength: 15
• Dexterity: 12
• Constitution: 14
• Intelligence: 16
• Charisma: 14
• Wisdom: 6

Denim Dads — “Active in raising children and embrace a balance between life and work. They might buy expensive jeans and pick the same music player their kids use.” Alignment: Neutral Good

• Strength: 12
• Dexterity: 2
• Constitution: 8
• Intelligence: 14
• Charisma: 12
• Wisdom: 16

Parentocrats — “Upper middle class parents consumed with their children’s well-being who may invest heavily in music lessons or videos promising to make children smarter.” Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

• Strength: 6
• Dexterity: 6
• Constitution:10
• Intelligence: 16
• Charisma: 10
• Wisdom: 15

“Karma queen or geek god? Marketers eye new consumer” [Reuters]

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