These Red Baron Frozen Pizzas Could Be Rounder

Cap in California bought three deformed Red Baron frozen pepperoni pizzas from his local Safeway. One looks “half-eaten,” and another sports a mysterious speck of “weird red/black dark matter” that Manfred von Richthofen would reject as pepperoni. Cap writes:
A quick warning for those in the Sunnyvale, CA area buying Red Baron frozen pizza: Don’t.

They were on-sale — three for $9.99. My roommates and I (tricked by the xxx for xxx sale) grabbed three.

Opened one box and found it to be a deformed pizza.

Hmm. The machine couldn’t make this pizza properly, we thought. No worries, let’s try the next box.

Each box was subsequently worse off than the next. One of them (the one that looks like it’s half-eaten) has some mysterious weird red/black dark matter embedded into the pizza. Uh, cool? Extra toppings?

Safeway was cool though, they promptly offered an exchange or refund. We took the refund.