Coming Soon: The Oprah Store!

Oprah has announced the inevitable opening of an “Oprah store” next to her studio in Chicago where one can purchase items such as an Oprah “iPod cover” and “African-designed baskets and bead art, apparel, and DVDs.”

Let it be known, however, that buying an Oprah iPod cover is just about the saddest thing we can think of, and we can think of a lot of sad things. We even own some pretty sad things. We own a fake police light that says “Hill Street Blues.” (It was free, but we kept it.) Even that isn’t as sad as paying $14 for an iPod cover with Oprah on it.

Just sayin’. Not her best idea, but all-in-all an Oprah store is still probably cooler than the whole Martha Stewart/Kmart thing.

Oprah, the store [Sun-Times]


Edit Your Comment

  1. hills says:

    Am I the only one surprised that there isn’t already an Oprah store? Seems like they would have thought of that years ago….. Why didn’t I… ?!!?!

  2. bpotterr says:

    Free car with purchase?

  3. homerjay says:

    @hillsrovey: I agree. I just assumed she had one…or two. Now an OprahPhone- THAT would be news!!

  4. WannaGetMatzoBalled says:

    All in all, though, Oprah is awesome. Her magazine is the best!
    I’m all over girl power, and that’s what she’s about.
    Rock on, Oprah! :)

  5. kimdog says:

    Oprah is the most narcissistic person on the planet. I loved her back in the day. But now I find her insufferable.

  6. The Bigger Unit says:

    You consider opening a store strictly devoted to selling shit with your likeness as narcissistic? Surely you jest!!

  7. krunk4ever says:

    I wonder when someone would post a DIY tutorial on how to make a Oprah ipod cover and save $14 in the meantime. ;p

  8. Chese says:

    I always found it funny and a little sad that Oprah is always on the cover of her magazine, as if it wasn’t obvious what the magazine was about.

  9. nequam says:

    Will she be selling jump-able couch cushions?

  10. faust1200 says:

    When I picked up my new car “Oprah and Friends” channel was programmed into my XM satellite radio. I debated whether or not to run head on into traffic to end the misery since learning to use the radio would take an extra 30 seconds.

  11. ancientsociety says:

    @PixieDust: Since when is Oprah “all over girl power”? Let me guess, you favorite “girl power” magazine is Cosmo, right?

  12. Mom2Talavera says:

    I’m forced to watch her show sometimes on the TVs at the gym. Shes such a products whore. I watched her “best life” diet show a few weeks ago….where she pimped a lot of General Mill products. I’m sure she got lots of $$$ from that deal. Some of the issues I had were
    /Bob Greene is such a tool!
    He whored himself out to Mc.Donald’s a while back… pimp the “Go Active American challenge” . That turd isnt gonna tell me whats good to eat

    // 8th Continent Soy Milk isn’t even vegan! Vitamin D 3 used in it is from Cholecalciferol from wool fat ….or lanolin….blachhhh! and they use GMO soybeans!

    /// Slim fast is crap and the main ingredients are milk, sugar, fructose….

    //// Isolated synthetic vitamins(like one-a-day womens multi) poison you…..

    ///// Wish-Bone Salad Spritzers 3rd ingredient is High fructose corn syrup…..ick

    //////Yoplait Yogurt uses crap like gelatin, Aspartame, Carmine and High fructose corn syrup in their products….

    Oprah could tell the drones to eat a turd between two toasted pieces of cardboard….and I bet some would! She has that much influence.

  13. timmus says:

    @Mom2talavera: Who says it’s not an Active American diet? Gelatin, aspartime, carmine, soybean base, and high-fructose corn syrup additives are as American as Mom and apple pie! I suggest you go down and load up on some Olestra chips and Tab and think about this.

  14. @Chese: “I always found it funny and a little sad that Oprah is always on the cover of her magazine”

    I read the publishers will only publish the magazine if she is, because it doesn’t sell unless she’s on the cover and people go, “oh, huh, Oprah,” at the newsstand.

  15. hop says:


  16. pestie says:

    Oprah is the black Martha Stewart! There, I said it.

  17. royal72 says:

    @pestie: “Oprah is the black Martha Stewart! There, I said it.”


  18. BadCall says:

    Dear Oprah,

    Just wanted to drop you a line to let you know that I remember my spirit just fine without shilling out my hard-earned money for your merchandise. Now please, just go back to annoying me with your television show.

    Best Regards,
    The Free World

  19. spanky says:

    Martha Stewart > Oprah Winfrey

    Martha Stewart’s K-Mart stuff, as far as I’m aware, consists of functional things. You know, towels and sheets and cookware. They’re things, and you can use them for stuff. None of that Oprah stuff seems as though it serves any real function at all.

    I am not really all that well-versed in either Martha or Oprah, so maybe I’m missing something important. But from what I have seen, Martha Stewart seems to show people how to do stuff, at least. Every time I’ve seen Oprah, she’s been either shilling something, or telling already boring, narcissistic middle-class Americans that they need to sit around gazing at their navels and talking about their boring-assed feelings more than they already do.