Jennifer Lopez was the main attraction at Walmart’s 4 hour long “shareholder’s meeting”, along with American Idol winner Jordin Sparks and comedian Sinbad. Less important? The shareholders. Walmart allotted 3 minutes to each of the resolutions shareholders had put forward. Why was such little time available for shareholders to discuss the company they own? “Time-constraints!” Walmart had to make room for the following:

• A performance by Sinbad, in which he joked that Walmart associates should beat other people’s children while wearing fake name tags.

• The aforementioned Jennifer Lopez and Jordin Sparks.

• Chris Gardner, the guy whom the Will Smith movie The Pursuit of Happyness is based on, congratulating Walmart on its commitment to “promote diversity.”

• Associate Awards: a guy who saved someone from a burning car, a guy who talked another guy into dropping his gun, and a Sudanese fellow whose parents had just perished in Darfur and who “now regards Wal-Mart as his family.”

•A Salute to International Walmart: “Canadians dressed as ice hockey players, a Brit decked out as a Beefeater and some Argentinians doing a tango. That went on for a good 20 minutes.”

All that self-congratulation only left 3 minutes for each shareholder speech…but hey, at least they got a free J. Lo concert. Doesn’t she look pretty?—MEGHANN MARCO

Wal-Mart’s orgy of corporate self-satisfaction [Guardian]
(Photo: Reuters)

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