The Best Of United Airlines

Filthy United Airlines! Disgusting Garbage-Filled Airplane Is Not Cleaned Before Next Flight Departs
How would you like to fly from Hawaii to Chicago in an airplane full of cigarette butts, candy, used tissues, pretzel bags, maxi-pad wrappers, crumbs, dirt, pens, balls of “goo”, and god knows what else…

United Airlines Says Don’t Bring Wine On The Plane If Your Name Sounds Terroristy
“if you can get it passed security, we have no problem with it”, then asked me for my name and nationality, “Given that information, I’d advise you to leave it at home”

United Airlines: Sorry We Lost Your Cat in the Cargo Hold For 3 Weeks
On Wednesday United cargo workers found the tired, hungry animal at Denver International Airport.

United Customers Abandoned in Wyoming As Plane Leaves Without Them
Tears filling his eyes, Roger Barbour watched in disbelief as two United Express jets took off without him just before Christmas at the Cheyenne airport in Wyoming.

Drunks On A Plane: How Not To Behave During A 6 Hour Flight
Attention readers: Do not get drunk during a long flight.

We Accidentally Post United Exec’s Cellphone Number

Sorry, we thought it was his office number.

United Airlines Laughs At Traveller’s Plight
When Wade asked one of the ticket agents who laughed at him what his name was, the agent said his name was, “Juice Box.


Edit Your Comment

  1. creamsissle says:

    Excellent…because I wasn’t dreading tomorrow’s flight with United enough as it is.

  2. letoofdune says:


    Clearly, you’re already screwed. I’d pack a condom of coke somewhere on you, just to make things interesting.

  3. TechnoDestructo says:

    My last flight on United, there was a flight attendant whose ass was wider than the aisle.

    I don’t care if they don’t have hot young flight attendants. But there are some things which just ARE an impediment to performing the job. Brushing up against every passenger’s shoulder on both sides of the aisle with your ass every time you walk by is one of them.

  4. Chaluapman says:

    Wow!! I made a “best of” list!!

  5. metapede says:

    My last (both meanings) three United Airlines Experiences:

    An Unexpected Segment
    Charlotte to SFO, Connecting through Washington D.C., booked on Landed at Dulles and didn’t see my connecting flight listed on the board. Found out it was departing from Reagan National. I had to take a taxi from Dulles to National to make my connection, which took almost an hour and cost $80.

    No. Sleep. Til Philly.
    SFO to Philadelphia red-eye, booked on On the day of my flight, I learned that my original (non-stop) flight had been canceled weeks earlier. I was now booked on a flight connecting through Dulles and arriving two hours later. United claimed their “automated system” had alerted me to the change by telephone, even though all other communications from United have come to me via email. The flight was completely full, and my seat would not recline because the button was broken.

    No Service = Bad Service
    Newark to SFO. No plane at the gate at the scheduled departure time. No agent at the counter. No announcement of any kind. A customer standing at the counter said he’d been waiting for an hour. A plane and an agent eventually showed up, about ten minutes after the scheduled departure time. My girlfriend and I wanted to change our seats to sit next to each other, but we were told this would not be possible. The icing on the cake: After arriving in SFO and unpacking at home, I found my digital camera and wireless mouse were missing from my checked bag.