Consumerist Rides Another Plane

Inside, our airplane travels today departing Charlotte. Highlights include: Popemobile, dangerous grandmas, and entertaining oneself in the lavatory….

Wore our shirt that says WRONG WORLD three times in a row. It elicited responses from the lady guiding customers to the ticket counter, as well as one of the x-ray dudes.

He said, “Wrong world, wrong world, wrong world… you’re right!” Then he gave us us a thumbs up.

Waiting in line, a fancy ionic bomb detecting machine sat to the side A sign on it said, “Out of order.”

There was an elderly lady being pushed in a wheelchair by a young man. The TSA agent informed them that if the older woman was able to rise from the chair, she would need to be walked through the human x-ray device. After we retrieved our carryon, we noticed the TSA employees submitting wheelchair lady to a secondary screening.

The wifi shows 4 different networks available. We were unable to get on any of them. T-mobile’s splurts along at 11mbps, but after you submit your credit card info, it drops down to 1mbps, too slow to even fully process our credit card. We hope.

Behind us on the plane, two passengers discussed the Pope mobile.

WOMAN: It’s just so, you know, it’s not like it’s just the president’s car, where it’s bulletproof. It’s like, all elevated and shit, and look at me. I just can’t believe some people think that’s… legit, you know? It’s sorta like, what’s that called, when you…(indiscernible)

MAN: Idolatry?

WOMAN: It’s like, why does he need all that? Jesus would protect him if he was the real pope.

Other than that, the flight was uneventful, except for when we got bored and entertained ourselves in the bathroom and some jerkwad started banging on the door after a few minutes. We said, yes? and announced we were in the lavatory. When we exited the facilities, this older lady in purple gave us a harsh look as we returned to our seat.

We wondered if the Pope mobile has a pope poop chute, and if anyone ever bothered him when he used it. — BEN POPKEN