Man Hides in Furniture Box; Steals $80,000 from Kmart

Introducing our new favorite alleged thief, Greg G. Giannotta. Our buddy Greg, “hid inside a furniture box at Kmart until closing time and, according to police, swept the jewelry department nearly clean of merchandise.”

According to the Home News Tribune (of Central New Jersey):

“Giannotta went into the store about 8 p.m. Sunday, shoplifted tools for the burglary, a duffle bag and a full set of clothing to change into.He then went to the furniture department and hid in the box, waiting for the store to close. Sometime around midnight,Giannotta changed into the shoplifted clothes, emerged from the box and went to the jewelry section.

With employees still working in the store, Giannotta pried open the jewelry cases and loaded his duffle bag with gold and assorted jewelry.

An employee yelled for the manager to call 911, and Giannotta fled.”

Nearby police saw Giannotta running through the Kmart parking lot, where he was apprehended. Our question: So how much does $80,000 worth of Kmart jewelry weigh? 150lbs? 300lbs? No wonder the poor bastard got caught. He’d have been better off stealing 50lb bags of kitty litter. —MEGHANN MARCO

Man hides in box, robs Kmart of $80,000 in goods [Home News Tribune]


Edit Your Comment

  1. Grrrrrrr, now with two buns made of bacon. says:

    That must have been a lot of $9.95 digital watches!

  2. homerjay says:

    Two things-
    Why didn’t he wait until nobody was there?

    and if he’s using the tools just to break into jewelery cases is he REALLY shoplifting tools?

    Any jewelery store with an insurance policy takes all their valuable jewelery out of the case and puts it into a safe at night. They being said, I’m sure this store had no safe.

  3. aestheticity says:

    The stores get locked up tight when everybody leaves and alarms turned on. He was probably trying to time it to emerge when there were very few employees but before they left and switched on the motion-sensitive alarms. He was in a box, give him a break.

  4. DeadSnake says:

    If he were Solid Snake, he would’ve been able to get away scot free. But then again, this guy doesn’t have the benefit of radar and hammerspace to weigh him down less. Ah, well. Guess that’s reality.

  5. Meg Marco says:

    Sam Fisher, too.

  6. BostonBum says:

    Yeap — I blame our hero’s capture on a lack of Sticky Shockers.

  7. YodaYid says:

    I just saw Inside Man – this story reminds me of that…