Zune “is a Complete, Humiliating Failure.”

The Chicago Sun-Times does not like the Zune. At all. In much the same way as we delight in reading all the really nasty movie reviews excerpted on Metacritic, we really enjoyed this particular write up of the potentially ill-fated Zune. Here are some choice zingers:

On Device Kickbacks to Music Companies:

“These devices are just repositories for stolen music, and they all know it,” said Doug Morris, CEO of Universal Music Group. “So it’s time to get paid for it.”

Well, Morris is just a big, clueless idiot, of course. Do you honestly want morons like him to have power over your music player? Then go ahead and buy a Zune. You’ll find that the Zune Planet orbits the music industry’s Bizarro World, where users aren’t allowed to do anything that isn’t in the industry’s direct interests.”

On Moral Issues:

“Throw in the Zune’s tail-wagging relationship with music publishers, and it almost becomes important that you encourage people not to buy one.”

More inside.

On Compatibility:

“Zune is incompatible with Windows Media Player, the familiar hub of the Windows desktop media experience.
The Zune app doesn’t even have as many features as WMP. And why (for the love of God) doesn’t it support podcasts? That’s pure insanity.”

Sun-Times Prediction:

“Result: The Zune will be dead and gone within six months. Good riddance”

Ok, so the Zune is probably not a good buy. Beware, yadda, yadda. First generation devices are a bad buy, regardless. So why are we writing about it? Obviously, we just wanted to run this picture again. Zune, so frustrating, you’ll put your eye out. —MEGHANN MARCO (Thanks, jp!)

Avoid the loony Zune [Sun-Times via BoingBoing]