Roses Are Not Red, They’re Invisible.

A rose by any other name might smell just as sweet, but that requires the rose be there in the first place. Dave learned this painful lesson when he tried to order his wife roses.

Dave, that poor bastard, is still waiting for his refund. We guess he shouldn’t have ordered invisible odorless roses, but at least they are hypoallergenic…

The other day I decide to order up some roses for my beautiful wife on our second wedding anniversary, a dozen Red Roses. Now my wife works downtown Boston in the financial district where there are literally 50 different florists around. I call up Louis Barry Florist, just a couple of blocks from my wife’s building.

I place the call to Louis Barry Florist at around 9 am which should give them plenty of time to deliver the flowers 2 blocks, before my wife leaves work at 5. 3 o’clock rolls around and there has been no call from my wife thanking me for the roses.

I call over to Louis Barry Florist and the woman says “the flowers went out a long time ago”. Same thing at 4 o’clock.

At 4:30 I call my wife and ask if she received any flowers (surprise ruined), she has not. I call over to Louis Barry Florists and he says the flowers have already been delivered. I explain to him that this is not possible because my wife has no flowers on her desk. He says “the driver has delivered the flowers to your wife”. I say no he didn’t, my wife is leaving work now, thanks for embarrassing me and refund my money now. The gentleman at Louis Barry Florist says he has to wait and check with the driver tomorrow.

Tomorrow?! So now I call my wife, and in desperation I ask her to call Louis Barry Florist and explain to the gentleman that she has not received the flowers. Louis Barry Florists insists to my wife that she has the flowers.

I am so mad. I should of recorded the conversation I had with this guy.

I just spent 80 bucks on phantom roses for my wife on our second anniversary.

By the way, Dave, we’re on to you… if you forgot your 2nd anniversary and this is just an elaborate scam to earn forgiveness while publicly smearing an innocent florist… Damn. Good idea! Who was your wife talking to on the phone? Your brother? You shyster!


Edit Your Comment

  1. ColoradoShark says:

    80 bucks for a dozen roses!!! They had better be some mighty nice roses in really nice arrangement in a vase.

    Since you must have used a credit card, just tell the florist you want to see a credit on your account today or you’re going to call the card company and have them do a chargeback. Then check your account on line.

    And when the credit card bill comes, be sure and show it to your wife so she can see the original charge was on the day of your anniversary. That *might* get you off the hook and maintain marital bliss.

  2. AaronM says:

    This sounds like a silly question, but did you check what address he delivered them to? This could be a simple mixup.

  3. monecky says:

    If you order online, (for example) you can save on the cost, and get a nice professional on time delivery.


  4. MoogleLally says:

    I worked for a florist for a year and a half. It was fairly high volume, corporate accounts and the like.

    I was amazed by how much my boss would lie. Lie lie lie. All the things they told you were lies my boss would tell people.

    “They’re on the truck.” “They’ve been delivered.” Tomorrow I’m sure they’ll tell her “oh, there was a mix up and they were at the wrong address!” AKA ‘I forgot your order’.

    Now, granted he called day of delivery, and sometimes florist will have orders for that day that were called in days prior (‘first come, first served’) but they were close and likely could have fit her in.

    I’m sure the person who took the order forgot, and will just make it seem like it was a big mistake with the deilvery. I’d heard my boss pull that crap a million times and I’d had other florists in other towns pull it on me when they’d forgotten an order I’d wired to them.

    Honest opinion? Don’t play with flower delivery. Do it yourself. Your S.O. will get a kick out of seeing you and you’ll know they got there.

    I would say to get said flowers at an actual florist, not a discount flower corner or a grocery store. A florist that’s been in business for a long time. Then you’ll know they carry good product, because you can’t be in business that long without carrying good/fresh flowers all the time.

    Flowers- good flowers should be kinda pricy. If you’re paying under $40 for a dozen of roses, they probably wont last long. Florists usually get good, fresh product. Anywhere cheaper means it might be old product and die sooner.

    Another tip: call a flower shop directly. Do NOT use one of those internet 1-800 Teleflora websites. Call a REAL florist. These large websites will NOT give your order any sort of personal touch. It is transmitted, via computer, from florist to florist until one will accept the order. It is so easy for it to get screwed up or lost.

    Talk to a human with a voice and an interest in getting your arrangement taken care of (especially if in a pinch you do need it delivered). Do NOT talk to a call center. Do NOT enter things into a webpage. Talk to a human!

  5. DaveB says:

    No seriously the address was correct, the guy was friggin lying. I’ve ordered flowers for my wife plenty of times without any issues. I used a debit card and the amount was already taken out within a couple of hours, when I demanded he refund my money asap he said “he wouldn’t do it” and “had to wait to talk to the driver in the morning”. Basicly he was calling my wife and I liars.

    80 bucks for roses+vase? – yeah welcome to Boston.

  6. matthew_k says:

    I disagree that it “could have been a simple mixup”. The reason you pay $80 for a florist to deliver flowers instead of $40 to to deliver flowers is that you want a real person to find the person and give them the flowers. This could mean hunting down the new room they’ve been transfered to in a hospital, or asking every last one of their coworkers where their desk is. When UPS messed up’s deliveries on valentines day, their phone representatives offered to send out new flowers ASAP, and call the recipient and explain that it was their fault. I’d expect BETTER service from a bricks and mortar florist, not worse.

  7. Magister says:

    Agree with matthew_k, the florist isn’t paying 80 bucks for roses, so they can afford to send out a new set, at least they should have. Now you better be stopping that charge.

  8. kbax says:

    If you order online, (for example) you can save on the cost, and get a nice professional on time delivery.

    Not always. My sister ordered flowers from FTD, online, for my great-grandmother’s funeral last October. This was two days before the funeral, mind you.

    Guess whose flowers didn’t show up at the funeral home? Unless they were invisible, like Dave’s. My sister said she was going to get a refund, not sure if that happened or not. I hope so, because those were some pricey flowers.

    I think the problem is that most online places use a local florist…so you really don’t know what you’re getting.

  9. AaronM says:

    Can I suggest you make MoogleLally’s comment into a Consumerist post? I’ve learned a lot from that.

  10. Triteon says:

    What everyone can learn from Moogle’s post is this: “Do it yourself” Calling in flowers=calling in the relationship.
    (One view– voice of experience; divorced 10 years ago. Learned…maybe. Still working on it. Not very smart. What’s the website for eHarmony? Oh, they don’t take pagans…)