Roses Are Not Red, They’re Invisible.

A rose by any other name might smell just as sweet, but that requires the rose be there in the first place. Dave learned this painful lesson when he tried to order his wife roses.

Dave, that poor bastard, is still waiting for his refund. We guess he shouldn’t have ordered invisible odorless roses, but at least they are hypoallergenic…

The other day I decide to order up some roses for my beautiful wife on our second wedding anniversary, a dozen Red Roses. Now my wife works downtown Boston in the financial district where there are literally 50 different florists around. I call up Louis Barry Florist, just a couple of blocks from my wife’s building.

I place the call to Louis Barry Florist at around 9 am which should give them plenty of time to deliver the flowers 2 blocks, before my wife leaves work at 5. 3 o’clock rolls around and there has been no call from my wife thanking me for the roses.

I call over to Louis Barry Florist and the woman says “the flowers went out a long time ago”. Same thing at 4 o’clock.

At 4:30 I call my wife and ask if she received any flowers (surprise ruined), she has not. I call over to Louis Barry Florists and he says the flowers have already been delivered. I explain to him that this is not possible because my wife has no flowers on her desk. He says “the driver has delivered the flowers to your wife”. I say no he didn’t, my wife is leaving work now, thanks for embarrassing me and refund my money now. The gentleman at Louis Barry Florist says he has to wait and check with the driver tomorrow.

Tomorrow?! So now I call my wife, and in desperation I ask her to call Louis Barry Florist and explain to the gentleman that she has not received the flowers. Louis Barry Florists insists to my wife that she has the flowers.

I am so mad. I should of recorded the conversation I had with this guy.

I just spent 80 bucks on phantom roses for my wife on our second anniversary.

By the way, Dave, we’re on to you… if you forgot your 2nd anniversary and this is just an elaborate scam to earn forgiveness while publicly smearing an innocent florist… Damn. Good idea! Who was your wife talking to on the phone? Your brother? You shyster!