Escaping Pharma Telemarketing Hell

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A string of online pharmacies wouldn’t stop calling reader Cajun in Cullyforneeya, every day, for six months. He had never done business with them and repeatedly asked to be removed from their list. The FTC didn’t do anything about his complaint either.

He he took matters into his own hands.

Cajun answered all the calls and fucked with the discount drug telemarketers’. Towards the end of the call he reveals he’s been recording the call the whole time and demands to be removed (again). They hang up shortly afterwards.

Finally, one day, the calls stopped.

Here are some of the best recordings. He gets the reps to help him find generic versions of Methamphetamine, Catnip, and Hemorrhoidal cream.

Call 1 – 13:03

Call 2 -12:57

Call 3 – 3:01

Hats off to you, Cajun in Cullyforneeya, you are man among voles.


Edit Your Comment

  1. KesCaesar says:

    I almost feel sad for the telemarketers…. ALMOST.

  2. homerjay says:

    Oh Kes, you’re getting soft on us!

    I would have loved to hear him go after their names. Brad Williams from the Bronx? Come on! Thats just ASKING for ridicule.

    This guy has a great way of keeing these telemarketers thinking that there’s still a remote possibility that he may actually buy something. Thats got to be tough to do. I’m very impressed that he was able to keep both of those people on the line for 14 minutes.

    Oh, and the Ring sucked. :)

  3. KesCaesar says:

    Homer, to clarify- I worked in teleresearch for the Canadian government for a while – I know what it’s like to be screwed with. Then again, telemarketing is not teleresearch.
    And the face that he asked to be removed and was not is deplorable.
    I would be upset as well, I know I would, but the first thing I would ask myself would be how they got my telephone number, and nip that bud rather than rattle the cages of the people who can’t get a better job than working for asshole telemarketing firms.

  4. Phyltre says:

    The funny part is, these are actually nice people (well, the girl was, anyway) compared to what you’d get in run-of-the-mill customer inquiry/support calls. They just work for idiots. I’d be happy to have that first telemarketer running my phones…

  5. Lowel says:

    Which way do I go George? Which way do I go? That is what the dog was thinking after eating up all those ca-tnip tabs! I’ll take a thousand of those, and a thousand more, oh, hey did you hear the one about the telemarketer who ate moose? Or was it moose drippings, no wait I’ll take 1000 mg of Methamphetamine and call you back in the morning! I love you!

    Sure could have used that 6 months ago when I ran my CITI and AT&T Credit Cards up to over 100k and quit paying the bill just to get even. Oh wait, they called me 18 times a day everyday (except Sunday’s) for the past six months trying to get me to pay my bills…Guess they got me! Time to pay those bills. Can you hold for a minute? I spilled my cash all over the floor and the dog is eating it. Guess they’ll have to wait another month!

  6. jeblis says:

    I’m pretty sure not giving out a phone #/address and calling after being asked not to is illegal. So no. I don’t feel bad for these people breaking the law.

  7. homerjay says:

    Kes, you’re going to find very little sympathy here (not that you’re looking for it yourself). These people spend the whole call lieing and they do it right out of the gate using fake names and locations and then telling the customer that no matter what he asks for, they can get it for him cheaper, even oxycontin and catnip.

    If these people want to be taken seriously they need to take their prospect seriously.

  8. If these people want to be taken seriously they need to take their prospect seriously.

    Don’t forget the possible Federal rap for dispensing without a prescription, and dispensing unnecessarily. The guy wanted to sell me $400.00 worth of Imitrex (indicated for migraines) because my teeth hurt.

    The problem I found most telling was that these folks always gave a different location (Fort Lauderdale, the Bronx (646 is actually lower Manhattan)) and spoofed a Maine area code in the caller ID data field. The calls were almost certainly coming from a leased-line call center in India – all three callers here were obviously Indian.

    The calls finally stopped about a week before we moved and gave up that number. The callers always asked for someone who didn’t live there, and usually indicated that the household had purchased something different from them each time. Usually it was SOMA or Valium or Xanax – none of which I’ve used from a doctor or otherwise.

    I doubt I ever cost them anything significant besides time due to the leased line they were likely using, but I had a lot of fun yanking their chains.

  9. The_Truth says:

    Intrestingly after repeat “Fuck off”s from me, they stopped calling as well, I havent heard a request for Stacy in weeks :-)

  10. jitrobug says:

    I get these exact same calls on my work phone – I called the one customer service number I get from them sometimes (877-479-2454) and raised hell, and I stopped for a couple weeks, and now I seem to be getting calls from a different call center (I don’t recognize the people anymore.)

    What I’ve really gone back and forth on, are they illegally selling real medications, or are they just scamming for credit card numbers?

    It’s scary to hear them giving pharmacy advice, if they’re actually selling the drugs, they could kill people.

  11. jitrobug says:

    oops, make that 877-479-2455, if you google it, there are a couple of pages of web sites listing it as their customer service number.

    On the other hand, it might just be a number that some are told to throw out when you ask – more often than getting that number I’ve gotten made up numbers (I use my cell to check while I’m still on the line).

    My favorite was a caller that said he was calling from store44, an online pharmacy.. so I try out the url, and is an art gallery. nice.

    Cajun’s recordings inspired me – I’m going to find the deadliest drug interaction I can involving a pain killer and see if I can get them to tell me that taking it will be ok.