The Car Insurance Penis Tax

Okay, this guy’s an ass: as a rule, we don’t like smarmy consumers like this. Moreover, it’s got some strategic edits which are suspect. Hell, I suspect Tim’s part of the call was recorded independently of Luke’s “Aren’t I just so clever?” retorts.

Nevertheless, we’ve all been at the rectal side of a car insurance reaming, struggling vainly as the industry holds us down with inarguable statistics to just insert the billing protuberance deeper.


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  1. c13 says:

    Also notice that the start says that it’s “based on a true story.” To me that says that the whole thing is full of crap.

  2. homerjay says:

    He’s on a cell phone. How is he recording the other end of the conversation.

    I’m pretty sure he’s just a smart-ass with a script he slaved over for weeks and the ability to edit out all of his gaffs. I couldn’t even watch the whole thing.

  3. hyperboles says:

    You guys, this is just a spoof from the Barats and Bereta guys. I just took it has him expressing the frustration a lot of younger drivers feel when they start paying their own insurance. And I thought it was funny.

  4. I can’t believe you guys are so critical of this. It’s obviously not an actual complete conversation, but rather a “re-enactment.”

    This guy is just saying what we all were thinking when we were, under 25 and single, and getting state mandated auto insurance. (Incidentally, I think being married makes you a more dangerous driver, not safer)

    You know, there are lies, damn lies, and statistics.

  5. Yep says:

    Jokey, jokey, jokey… Good timing, too.

  6. JackieTreehorn says:

    My issue is not that it’s staged, which it obviously is. My issue is that it’s as funny as juvenile diabetes. And that’s not very funny.

  7. Yep says:

    BTW, channel Jason Bateman much?

  8. Gari N. Corp says:

    He should switch to some super-cool insurance company that only insures really talented first-time drivers, and somehow makes pots of money. Oh wait, it doesn’t exist. No-one wants to be a bluddy actuary, but you might as well understand how they work.

  9. I find Juvenile Diabetes pretty amusing. Especially when I see the kids pushing around wal-mart trying to sneak more sugar when mom and dad aren’t looking.

  10. any such name says:

    btw, your insurance rate does not automatically drop when you turn 25. that’s a fallacy.

  11. The_Truth says:

    I actually liked it

  12. btw, your insurance rate does not automatically drop when you turn 25. that’s a fallacy.

    Mine did…dropped again when I got married too. Of course, I had to call the insurance company and tell them…they didn’t do it on their own.

    So if you mean it’s a myth that it does so automatically, then yes you’re right; you have to let them know that you magically became a safer driver yesterday when you said, “I do.” or when your friends sang “Happy 25th Birthday” to you.

  13. Ishmael says:

    No, your insurance rate does not automatically drop when you turn 25. Ask your agent to requote you, especially if your driving record is pretty good. But be warned – most companies are starting to look at the last 5 years instead of the last 3. And ask your fiance about their driving record. If it’s crap, your rates will go through the roof.

  14. Here’s a perfectly warped example of the mindset of insurance companies that works pretty much across the whole:

    Right after the terrorists hit on 9/11 the insurance companies were up for a lot of money. Many of them in particular simply just decided to cancel coverage for many things– like oh say AIRLINES CARRIERS. The deal went like this:

    Delta: Hey insurance companies, the government is going to lift the no-fly limits so that we can fly again, isn’t that cool?
    Insurance: Not quite, dawg! We’re not convinced that we won’t lose money er I mean terrorists might strike again and we can’t have that. Sorry , you can fly, but your insurance that you’ve been paying into for the last twenty years? Yeah that’s worthless cuz we won’t cover you unless you pay our new statistically adjusted rate that has been inflated due to the obviously higher chance of you all getting blowed up.
    Delta: But that means we can’t fly ever again! With the exception of Jet Blue and Southwest we’re broke!
    Insurance: Huh? Sorry, didn’t catch that. I was busy lighting a cigar with some benjies.
    American Airlines: What about our planes that we lost to the terrorists?
    Insurance: Yeah we’ll have to do a lengthy investigation and get back to you. See you in 2016.

    Who had to bail the airlines out after the insurance companies refused to step up to the plate? The US government. In the largest single source of monetary business assistance the government has ever issued, the airline industry received 5 billion dollars in the form of the “Air transportation safety and system stabilization act” and a good portion of that money can be tracked to the failure of the airline insurance system.

    Insurance == Racketeering.

  15. bambino says:

    I agree, insurance and those that sell it are douches. The video was charmingly snarky.

  16. Excellent point S_A. Funny how insurance companies never want to fulfill their side of the contract.

    This also brings to mind the point that insurance companies, as regulated industries, are required to have a maximum profit of 7%.

    What does that mean for you the consumer? It means that it is in the insurance companies’ best interest to insure poor drivers and to overlook fraud, because more payouts = higher rates = larger 7%.

    I mean, can you imagine a world without no-fault insurance? The courts would be clogged, and only people who can afford to drive and the risks inherent with it, would be driving…

  17. Let’s clear up the age 25 thing…

    Several state government websites and every insurance company website has a statement saying that drivers under 25 (or sometimes 30) years of age are charged a higher premium, as are males. Google it if you don’t believe me.

    Anyway, my insurance dropped by almost half after getting married and turning 25 (I did so in the same year), so it DOES HAPPEN!

  18. any such name says:

    blah blah blah. i’ve been over 25 for two years now and have not seen this magic decrease (nor have i had any incidents in the past two years).

    this has also been the case for friends of mine who hit 25 even longer ago.

    thus, i remain firm in my calling of bullshit.

  19. Mr. Gunn says:

    anysuch – What state are you in, because mine dropped precipitously.

  20. mechanismatic says:

    any such name – just because it didn’t happen to you doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen to anyone. There are several factors that could come into play. It might be affected by what state you’re in. It might be that your money-grubbing insurance agency doesn’t want to give you a discount. It might be that you’ve had an incident or two in the last span of years that the insurance company looks at. Your insurance company might just suck.

    I hate insurance. It’s state-mandated gambling. You’re gambling that something bad will go wrong. You only get money back if something does go wrong. You’re gambling/hoping that if something does go wrong that the insurance company will pay you more than you’ve paid them. But even if that does happen, you just end up paying higher premiums. Insurance is really only beneficial when someone else is the cause of the accident and their insurance has to pay you. And insurance companies have lots of money and lawyers and they’re very experienced in not shelling out money unless they absolutely have to.

    I’ve never gotten into an accident, so why should I have to get insurance? Because the state says I have to. If I’d put all the money I’ve paid over the years for car insurance into a savings plan or some kind of investment plan, I’d make more money than I have gotten from my insurance company. Oh wait, I’ve never gotten any money from my insurance company BECAUSE I’ve never gotten into an accident. So because I’m a good driver, I have to pay someone who will never pay me back, simply to satisfy some law that a lobbyist-purchased politician came up with as a blanket for everyone, no matter what their driving history is like. The statistics game is a bitch.

  21. AcilletaM says:

    any such name, I had Geico and it dropped after I turned 25 but it was gradual. But really there are other factors too. Your credit rating is taken into account. Insurance companies are using a score now similar to a credit score but for insuring people.

  22. any such name says:

    mechanismatic – you are right, and i said i’ve had no incidents. granted, i live in chicago so my rates are pretty silly anyway (though i’ve NEVER been in an accident, not once), i never experienced a magical drop two years ago when i turned 25. not even a fraction of a percentage. and i am aware that credit score is a factor, but i have good credit, so that isn’t it.

    insurance IS a joke – the biggest joke of all since you’re REQUIRED by law to have it, and if you don’t have enough of it, you can get your pants sued off.

  23. non-meat-stick says:

    My State farm agent explained it to me as a gradual decrease, not an instant drop. I know this to be true. My INS before I turned 25 was around 80$ per month and now almost a year later, it just went down to 68$. Hopefully I’ll see that again in 6 months…

  24. Gabe says:

    As hyperboles said, this is a Barats and Bareta spoof video, not a real re-enactment. You can see it and their other spoofs (I love the Cubicle Wars one) at:

  25. riggs says:

    As an insurance agent, I have to weigh in on this one. First of all, let me preface by saying that I’m one of the good guys, not one of the ‘policy peddlers’ who are just out to make a quick buck. I got in the business to help people. Say what you will about insurance, but it’s a unique feeling to be able to give someone the money to build a new house after theirs has burned to the ground, or been wiped away by a tornado. But I digress.

    This guy has no idea how much goes into an actuary’s job. It’s statistics 101: when you’re young, haven’t been driving long, and apparently know it all, you are more likely to get into an accident than someone with 20 or 30 years of driving experience-the same way smokers have higher mortality rates than nonsmokers. Mathematics. Plain and simple. This is smarmy, self-absorbed crap. At best.

  26. AcilletaM says:

    Here is another site from Privacy Rights Clearinghouse that explains in a lot more detail how an insurance company determines your risk. It also explains how to get copies of those reports too.

    I had a copy of the C.L.U.E. report when I changed insurance companies so I knew what info they had and didn’t have.