In order to make up for money lost during the free coupon crisis of 2006, Seattle area Starbucks have a new upsell campaign. Now when you order your coffee, a barista will inform you of what high caloric food product it “pairs with.”

Jonathan writes: “I’m in Starbucks this morning, and I order my usual latte and the barista tells me that it “pairs well with low fat cinnamon swirl coffee cake.” So, I ask, “What’s with all the ‘Pairs With’ nonsense?” To which she responds with what felt like a 10 minute sales pitch about how certain flavors compliment each other, and how when people drink coffee they also eat stuff and blah blah blah ..

I was forced to do the whole nod and smile and pretend I care while I was just thinking, “Making my coffee pairs well with shutting the F*CK UP!”

Seriously. Don’t mess with us before our morning cup. It’s liable to end up on your face.

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