Geico is happy to take your money to insure you. But they don’t know whose car you drive. They don’t know what kind of car you drive. And even when your Geico agent tells you that you’ve won, that really means that you’re at fault.

Sounds incredible, but reader Ben D. wrote us in with just such a comedy of Geico errors. After getting into a small accident and exchanging Geico policy numbers with the person who hit him, Ben expected quick pay-out. He clearly wasn’t at fault. But first Geico claimed he was driving his father’s car. Then they claimed he was driving a mysterious woman’s Hyundai. Then he’s told, via recording, that he’s won his case. But oops! Geico then recants, claiming that the agent made an error and, actually, it’s all his fault anyway.

Poor Ben D. His surreal Geico adventure, after the jump:

So I’ve been wondering where I should take this story, and just ran into your page tonight. Thought you might get a kick out of this. Kind of a long story, but it’s worth it.

It’s my last day at my wonderful job, and I’m driving to work about half an hour early (nothing better to do and I’m ready to be done!). I decide to pull into the Shell station I always grab a drink at on my way to work, and upon realizing there are no parking spaces on my side of the pumps (and no way to get around the pumps, only through) I decide to go through the pumps carefully to get to the other side to park. Mind you, there were cars at every pump, and that’s a “Be Careful, Guy!” situation. So I’m creeping through as best I can, and this lady opens her door into my wheel well. By the time I come to a stop, it’s destroyed my right front fender, just short of ripping it off. Yes, I was going slow, it was a Volvo door that hit me. Her door sustained very little damage. My poor 240 has been permanently scarred.

So we get out, I’m cordial, we laugh when we see that we both have Geico and talk about how wonderful they are (shudder). Information is swapped, I get to work (still 15 minutes early) and finish out my sentence with them. Fast forward to about a week later, and my dad tells me “Why did you give Geico my insurance policy number??” I told him “NO, it was mine! I’ve been paying my own policy for over a year now, it’s impossible!” Somehow, they screwed up the names and put the whole accident on his policy number and were pursuing him for a statement. I straighten this out, and my agent calls me up to get a sworn statement regarding the accident. I tell him basically everything up there, and everything seems fine. He sends me to a shop to get an estimate, which ends up being about $1200.

A couple days later, I get a letter from Geico telling me that I will not be covered since I was driving Christina So-and-so’s 2002 Hyundai Sonata (not the 92 240sx on my policy). I don’t know Christina, and I prefer not to drive Hyundais. Not that there’s anything wrong with either of those. That same day I get a call from my agent while I’m at my new job and he leaves me a voicemail. In this voicemail (which I have saved on my computer) he tells me that they’ve concluded their investigation, and found that I was not responsible for the accident, and to call the other agent to make my claim. I call the other agent. She tells me that they have a potential eye-witness and that the investigation has been re-opened. I say fine, and wait three days. I call my agent back. He tells me that the eye-witness (the gas station attendant) didn’t want to get involved. He tells me it’s still back in investigation (for what, I wonder to myself… no new information has come up).

I call back three or four days later, leave a voicemail, and my agent calls me back to tell me that no claim will be paid out, since they have a swearing match and neither statement can be proven. “But William, you left me a voicemail saying that we won! That your investigation found me not at fault!” No response to that, only “I’m sorry it turned out this way.” So I talk to his supervisor. I talk to that supervisor’s supervisor. Finally they have this bulldog call me up who could care less about service and courtesy. I argue with him for half an hour (while at my new job) for him to tell me that their first investigation was “wrong”. That my agent “shouldn’t have told me I wasn’t at fault.”

No relief. Geico will not pay me. So I go to the valiant Texas Department of Insurance! Surely they will provide me with some restitution! No response for weeks, Geico sends me a copy of the statement they sent to TDI (not a single mention of my name in that statement, only the other driver’s claim). Fast forward what might actually have been 4 to 6 weeks, and TDI tells me there’s NOTHING THEY CAN DO. They never ask for the voicemail I have on my computer of my agent telling me we won.

Anyways, I dropped it. It was affecting my health. My car’s passenger door will not open all the way. I paid Geico every month, on time, every time. I picked up the fight again a couple weeks ago, but only to be told by the same supervisors that I if I want to get any money, I have to take them to court. I don’t think I can afford a lawyer, nor do I think I have the patience. I guess I’m writing this because I’ve got no idea where to go with this. I can’t seem to let myself drop it. I keep wondering if maybe I’d gone one level higher with supervisors, I’d get my check, but it seems unlikely. I’d be happy to send pictures of the car, and even the recording from my voicemail, if it’ll keep others from having to deal with this.

Thanks for listening/reading, it’s great to get this out!

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