The Onion Peels Verizon’s Redonkulous Billing ‘System’

The Onion nails it.

    “NEW YORK–Verizon Communications, Inc. announced a new service package for its wireless and residential customers that would charge them widely varying, but always high, fees every month depending how the communications giant feels at the time. “Our Charge-At-Whim packages offer the same mediocre quality and insufferable level of customer service you’ve come to expect,” a Verizon spokesman said Tuesday. “But it adds an unjustified, arbitrary and, if you’ll allow us to boast, frankly unjustifiable method of determining just how much you’ll pay for them.” Packages start at “oh, $69.99 a month, let’s say?” and went into effect about three or four months ago”

Possibly inspired by Verizon’s plan to drop an “involuntary” service charge and voluntarily replace it with a similarly priced charge?

Of that, reader buck09 commented, “I emailed them back, letting them know they are a bunch of money-grubbing cockbags. Their mailbox was full.” (Thanks to Blair!)


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  1. jmac32here says:

    You should read the Customer Service Agreement sometime for Verizon Wireless. I make it simple. They state, in a very lengthy way that they reserve the right to charge the customer or cancel the customer’s service at any time, for any reason they feel the need to.

    This is contrary to many other agreements that state you may have your service terminated without being charged the ETF, if you use too much roaming.

    Seems like VZW would like to remake the money from the roaming or cancel..making the money by charging their ETF..which their agreement does not protect you from if they are to cancel your service.