AOL User 927 Illuminated

Aroused by the thought of juicy big piles of AOL user search data? Consumerist does the wading for you and finds a delightful little item, AOL User 927.

The record starts out blandly enough in March. First he’s concerned about how long it takes broken legs to heal. Then he investigates human mold. Perhaps staying at home after an accident? Then he peeks into a little dog sex, but the leash isn’t very long, the most prurient site he reaches being, a regular ol’ newspaper.

Later that day he looks up flowers. flowers aster. butterfly orchid. The next day, more flowers, followed by a little forced rape porn, testicle festivals and slow-dancing steps. Must be planning a big night.

Fast-forward to May…

Queries include: beauty and the beast disney porn, holocaust rape, japanese child slave, molestation and rape porn, virtual children, 3d molestation and rape porn, topped off with a little, “oh i like that baby. i put on my robe and wizards hat.”

But since he was using AOL he never got to see anything that might have potentially tainted his fragile, mold-ridden mind.

Download User 927’s file


Edit Your Comment

  1. Digg for Bloodninja, a true literary classic.

  2. billhelm says:


  3. Wow, my google searches are downright vanilla compared to this guy…scary.

  4. Papercutninja says:


  5. something_amazing says:

    I was all geared up for some sort of cynical remark for this morning, ie: “Come on Consumerist, why don’t you just change your name to AOLwatch I’m tired of all this AOL crap” but this manages to pique my interest much more than the call even.

    So let’s put our collective brains together and figure out how the number ties to the username.

  6. rs2891 says:

    It’s weird that ‘dirty gay sex’ sent this user to but ‘3-D molestation and rape porn’ did not.

  7. RumorsDaily says:

    Defamer is chock full of dirty gay sex.

  8. Sir Winston Thriller says:

    All hail Eris! Hail Discordia!

  9. Anonymous says:

    This account must be used by more than one person: probably two parents and one teenage otaku.

    I’m posting this from work, but as soon as I get home I’m going to unzip my copy of the AOL logs and find out what percentage of every search ever is for anime porn. I bet it’ll be something like 2-4%. Thank you, AOL, for the data I needed for this research!

  10. a3ulafia says:

    This one takes the cake:

    927 neil peart 2006-04-22 20:09:08 1

    I always knew Rush fans were more fucked up then they appeared.

  11. Mr. Gunn says:

    What’s strange is that some of the searches send the searcher to sites that are totally unrelated, and wouldn’t likely have even come up as a keyword .

  12. ckilgore says:

    Dying Elmo!

  13. Jesse in Japan says:

    What the hell is Holocaust Rape?

    Damn, this guy makes me feel pretty normal in comparison.

  14. Ben Popken says:

    Melissa writes:

    “i don’t have an account to leave comments on your site, but omg, that is one scary compilation of searches… only because clearly one person in that household is pregnant (illustrated by the 4 month ultrasound of a girl and baby name searches) and another person in that household is into incest/child rape… horribly scary!!”

  15. I think Markus’ find of User 17556639 is probably the “worst” though one could argue what’s worse… murder or rape and never reach a conclusion.

  16. ganzhimself says:

    The absolute worst, most terrifying thing searched for on that list is:
    “nickleback are we having fun yet 2006-03-16 20:54:25 2

    My god. This person needs to be ID’d and put in prison.

  17. pmicka says:

    Check out 5221570. Emo girl anyone?


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  19. Joseph Caleb Thompson says:

    i didn’t know someone was ever that screwed up in the head my jaw dropped