A Little Word On Cell Phone Etiquette

Dumb Little Man’s got some great tips for decorum and modesty with public cellphone use, which we rewrite for you here.

Nextel / Click to talk users: When you are in public, open the phone to talk. You’re not a trucker or a line jumper, just a crackhead walking down the street with your hoopty pants around your knees. BLOOP! bwawawwa, BLOOP! Kill me.

• Texting: don’t stand in the middle of doorways or hallways punching the keys. Pull over to the side. Not chewing bubble gum may help for those with multitask locomotion issues.

• It’s okay if a call goes to voicemail. Rampaging through your purse is not necessary. And if it is, consider putting the phone in a more accessible location next time.

• Just because the other caller is physically far away doesn’t mean you need to shout. A true paradox!


Edit Your Comment

  1. RumorsDaily says:

    And… just because somebody calls you doesn’t mean that you HAVE to answer. Voicemail exists for a reason.

  2. Triteon says:

    If your phone is set so loud that I can hear the person on the other end, I have the freedom to join in the conversation.
    And if you’ve decided to let a call go to voicemail, have the decency to hit the button that makes the ringing stop!

  3. homerjay says:

    #’s 1 and 4 are spot on.

    I used to go to a gym that cost $20 a month. At that price you get a lot of lallygaggers. If I wasn’t wearing headphones all I’d hear is the chirping of those friggen nextels.

    If there ever was a noise I’d like to ban from all humanity its that stupid chirp.

  4. RandomHookup says:

    Hey, where u at?

  5. Marcus says:

    I go to the University of Georgia, and buses are the worst. Every Monday morning comes what I (affectionately) refer to as the Sorority Sex Showcase, as dozens of sorority girls use their time on the bus to catch up on the weekend’s sordid affairs. SSS is the root of such gems as “Did you hear where she let him put it?” and “OMG, I would never sleep with that many guys in a night. 3 is enough!”

    Sigh. At least they’re entertaining.

  6. ADM says:

    And don’t play your ringtones/mp3s through your tinny speakers on the subway.

  7. HawkWolf says:

    absolute worst thing to do with your Bitch! mobile:

    – go to a restaurant
    – hold the phone out
    – start chirping the person who couldn’t come out with you and your friends, to ‘include’ them while they masturbate to the security cameras at Worst Ripoff.

  8. LintMan says:

    God I hate that Nextel push-to-talk crap. You get self-important jerks having full volume conversations with it while shopping in the supermarket or Target or whatever.

  9. Kornkob says:

    Don’t just gripe: take action. Don’t let people you know be jerks without calling them on it.

    When I’m the caller and I realize that the person I am talking to is being rude or annoying to the people around them, I hang up.

  10. robbie says:

    one of the reasons we yell on cell phones is that we do not get our own voice fed back to our earpiece, as we do on a landline. perhaps we would quiet down if the phone gave us a little of our own voices.

  11. HaxRomana says:

    Does “not digging through your purse” really qualify as a cellular
    etiquette tip? Unless someone is removing items from their bag and
    throwing them at bystanders to get to their phone, I don’t see why this
    is impolite.

  12. mechanismatic says:

    My pet peeve: If you ever forget where you are, just wait a few minutes. Someone around you on a cellphone will being telling the person on the other end, “I’m at Wal-Mart,” or “I’m at Barnes & Noble.” If you’re bored, they’ll also give you the play-by-play of what they’re doing. “I’m looking at the third shelf, you know, the one with the romance novels. Now I’m getting a latte. Now I’m drinking my latte. Now I’m driving the people around me crazy with the constant narration of my life!”

  13. bambino says:

    HaxRomana: Because if the person is too careless to actually put the phone in an accessible spot, they shouldn’t be allowed to annoy us with 30 seconds of innane ringtone while the scrounge around for it.

  14. HaxRomana: From the page – “I cannot think of a real reason why I see woman literally dumping their purses to find a ringing cell phone.”

    I dunno, it sounds like a lack of imagination on his part.

  15. Trackback says:

    A few weeks back we listed some Cell phone etiquette tips (that The Consumerist actually posted about, so thanks guys) and today we are going to hit another tool, the Instant Message.Here are the basic rules that I try to suggest to people at work.