Page From AOL Retention Manual

We’re putting the finishing touches on our big post on the AOL manual but wanted to release this sneak peak…

Contrast this with Nicholas Graham’s assertion that cancellation requests are processed quickly…


Edit Your Comment

  1. TedSez says:

    Wow…. That’s exactly the same kind of questioning cults use when they’re trying to get you to take a “personality test.”

  2. desonos says:

    I’m wondering if there is a branch for when the customer starts screaming “LET ME OUT OF THIS F*&#ING SUBSCRIPTION!” over and over again… hopefully we will be enlightened when they post more of the retention manual.

  3. Scott says:


  4. Fenni Fentu says:

    Sounds eerily familiar to the Carl Monday script:

  5. creamsissle says:

    Contrary to rumors, however, “Have you ever seen a grown man naked?” is not among the list of permissible questions.

  6. The Reviewer says:

    What do you use the internet for?
    Reading about how Terrible AOL is on Consumerist.

    What kind of information do you find?
    That you are complete douchebags, and I would be better off with gonorrhea.

    Do you research Gonorrhea on the internet too?

    We can give you gonorrhea, if you still want to stay on. At 24.99 a month!

  7. ckilgore says:

    “KEEP DIGGING!!” sounds like the makings for a quick, efficient and pleasant transaction to me.

  8. etinterrapax says:

    So many delicious possibilities for fucking with these guys…