Just what the world constabulary of disgusting children needs: a plastic schnozz you fit over your real honker and into which you poke your tongue to eat candy boogers.

‘Hose Nose’ is the name of this charming candy from San Diego. As you can see, the package features at least two variations on the same ‘snot’ pun. The nose contains ‘Candy Slime’ and also features elastic straps on the back: you are meant to wear this over your own nose, rooting around in there only when you want to lick one porky finger clean of sweet candy goo. The package also advises you to ‘Catch It On Your Tongue.’

Yes, it’s a classy product, sure to cause 9 year old boys everywhere to wet themselves in side-splitting hysteria… or at least until someone comes up with a depository chocolate dispenser that can be plugged directly into one’s own anus.

Nose Candy of a Sugary Kind [Strange New Products]

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