Can You Hear Me Whisper Now?

n marquee boldface, a revised Verizon customer agreement arrived in customer’s email boxes last night, screamed that contract language was changed as part of settling a class-action lawsuit and that, “UNLESS YOU TELL US THAT YOU PREFER YOUR EXISTING CONTRACT LANGUAGE, HOWEVER, THIS NEW CUSTOMER AGREEMENT WILL REPLACE YOUR EXISTING CONTRACT LANGUAGE.”

The Verizon CSR we reached didn’t know what exactly had changed and shunted us to a recorded line. The audiograph informed us that the agreement’s phrasing was altered to detail how to use the phone as well as to further delimit the Verizon service. They also pointed us to this website section all about the lawsuit. Great, so, can anyone say what’s different? Well, it has nothing to do with how much you pay or how you’re billed or minutes or anything to do with money, so they won’t tell us. Shutup and eat your electromagnetic radiation.

Photo snapped by someone at Pride NYC ’06, documenting the cellphone company’s redundant efforts to demonstrate how gay they are.