Happy Independence Day! Ben and I are taking it easy and sleazy over the next couple days, so today will be a half day and tomorrow will be a null day. However, we will undoubtedly stumble back to work with bloodshot eyes and throbbing brow on Wednesday morning and then, more than ever, we will need your tips to regurgitate on the site verbatim with a minimum of commentary in order to make our Gawker imposed quota.

So if a firework blows up in your hand this weekend, mail us. And if the faulty company in turn buys you a cybernetic arm, mail us too.

Hit the jump for the reader stories we culled this week!

Time To Look Up Attorneys In Verizon SuperPages
Can You Really Hijack An Airplane With A Belt?
Customer Experiences Superior UPS Service, Then Heart Attack
AOL After the Storm
Timbuk2 Listens
Quality Customer Care at Direct TV for EastEnders Fan
Piedmont Hospital Sucks
Whole Foods’ Remarkably Feculent Fruit
How Do You Like Your Sales Greetings?
Sleepy Comcast Denouement
When Flying Requires a Shoehorn
Mo’ Moen In Customer Service, Please
Dust Bowl Neither Good For American Farmer, Nor Breakfaster

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