Be an AOL Retainer!

Now, you too can become an AOL MEMBER RETENTION SPECIALIST! Positions are available in Oklahoma City, OK.

Transmute your childhood anal fixation into a career path!

    “As a member retention consultant in our casual environment, you will be responsible for managing inbound calls from members who wish to cancel their AOL account. Your goal will be to resell the member their AOL account…AOL Retention Consultants identify member needs, educate our members about how AOL is an invaluable part of their lives and resell the member on AOL products and services. You must be able to respond with confidence and enthusiasm in order to effectively retain each member.”

Full reimbursement for frontal, soul, lobotomy!

See original posting at Yahoo! Hotjobs. [via Insignificant Thoughts]


Edit Your Comment

  1. comedian says:

    The corporate recruiting page discloses that one of the benefits of working at AOL is that each employee gets two free AOL memberships.

    I wonder how hard it might be to cancel those memberships after someone leaves AOL’s employ.

  2. Jesse in Japan says:

    Just make sure the caller isn’t recording the conversation, or they’ll fire your ass.