Help Save Screech’s House!
Unbelievably, there’s only so long you can draw out a career as a throat gobbling doofus in Hollywood. So it’s to Dustin Diamond’s credit that he somehow managed to stretch what should have been a two year stint as ‘Screech’ on Saturday Morning television into a career that spanned two decades. The man became the definitive television doofus in the minds of many Americans, a favorite subject of drunken conversations about what child actors had most likely gone on to become gay porn stars.
Now Screech is back and he needs your help, because he’s homeless! After they just wouldn’t let him play Screech anymore, Dustin Diamond’s moved to Wisconsin and bought a house on a land contract. But over the next few years, the property value went up and the bank told him he had thirty days to pay $250,000 or move out.
As an out-of-work child star, Screech’s credit is terrible, so he turned to his Hollywood contacts and was told that finance genius Arthur Giraldo of the New York Capital Exchange would be able to set Screech right. But then Giraldo fucked him over too, despite the fact that Diamonds did a lot of shrill… um…. screeching about being a famous Hollywood Star!
Now Screech is selling t-shirts out of the back of a van by the river to try to pay for his house. Why not go on by and lend your support to the most grating personality in the history of Saturday morning television?
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