Greasy MacBooks Have Venereal Disease

What do these things have in common? The thighs of a cheap harlot. The armpit stains saturating a large Italian man’s undershirt. The Cheetos-dusted palms of a role-playing gamer. A used piece of toilet paper. A three-week old Macbook.

Answer? They are all fucking disgusting.

Courtesy of our Gizmodo brethren, we came across the revolting news that Apple’s newest laptops start actively decomposing when exposed to human sweat. The heat of the plastic causes it to gel with the oils and greases in your palms, permanently staining the computer with what appears to be the first outward signs of syphilis.

Who would have thought that a MacBook would not only have the color of a sanitary napkin, it would also have its absorbency?

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MacBooks Looking Skanky [Gizmodo]


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  1. OkiMike says:

    That’s what the black MacBook is for…

  2. i wonder why they changed plastics? my ibook g4 has survived a year of art school, and being coated in charcoal dust and gouche, but it still looks clean after a good scrubbing.

  3. AcidReign says:

    …..My wife’s Acer is doing this, too, and about half of the keyboard’s markings have worn off.