Misogynist reinterpretations of female empowerment songs always bring a smile to our faces, especially when it involves what appears to be a concerted campaign to give every man in American a quadruple simultaneous heart attack.

“Turn our inny into an outy”? Doesn’t that just happen to pregnant women? The fat people I have known have been able to pour a forty into their navels and then cavalierly sip from their own cavernous omphaloi^* with a circus crazy straw.

* – Ben asked me to link omphaloi with a definition, which I wouldn’t normally do, but dictionary.com appears not to even know how to pluralize “omphalos”… OED makes it clear the plural is -loi. Call me a snooty snob, but I tend to trust Oxford over Webster.

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