Mickey D’s Unveils New, Healthy, Pile of BS

As part of their ongoing campaign to throw a smokescreen of fatty molecules in the face of humanity, McDonald’s will offer a new, “healthy,” adult happy meal.

The meal features a premium salad, along with bottled water or soft-drink and one of four workout DVD’s, while supplies last.

It’s not salads but $1 burgers that have led to a turnaround in McDonald’s sales, however, according to an article in today’s Times, “Salads or No, Cheap Burgers Revive McDonald’s.”

Will the DVDs be as good as the bottle of Dasani featured in the photo? Dasani is a bottled water product from Coca-Cola that, rather than coming from a verdant spring tended by lithe nymphs, is simply their normal tap water before they add the carbon dioxide effervescence.

Mickey D’s Free DVDs” [DVD Dossier Blog via Digg] (Thanks to Fred!)


Edit Your Comment

  1. mrscolex says:

    Especially ridiculous when you consider that their “premium” salads are loaded with calories.

  2. Harlan says:

    I’ve got a bottle of DaSani right in front of me. It’s tap water, magnesium sulfate, potassium chloride, and sodium chloride (table salt). No effervescence, thank you very much! I usually buy a bottle every couple of weeks, drink their chemically-enhanced tap water, then refill the bottle with good old fashioned NYC tap water until I lose the bottle on the subway or whatever…

    Undoubtably, the DaSani bottle is more useful than the DVD…

  3. I was under the impression that Dasani wasn’t carbonated.

    Ok, I’m done missing the point.

  4. kerry says:

    Er, ah, Dasani isn’t carbonated. It’s filtered tap water, yes, but no carbon dioxide effervescence, I’m afraid.
    Tis quite tasty, though. I like filtered water better than most natural spring waters. The extra minerals and weird pH in the “real” stuff makes them taste funny to me.

  5. Ben Popken says:

    Ok………. maybe the syntactic construction is throwing people off, but the post says “Dasani is…their normal tap water before they add the carbon dioxide effervescence.”

    AKA The bottled water is tap water pre-bubbly.

  6. Clampants says:

    From the Times’ article:

    “We’re proud of the choices we offer customers,” said Bill Lamar, chief marketing officer for McDonald’s United States business. “You can come in and order Apple Dippers, salads with low-fat dressing, yogurt, or you can order an Egg McMuffin, which is a very nutritious sandwich. People can make the decisions about how to eat for themselves.”

    I’m curious…what part of 235mg of cholesterol and 840mg of sodium is to be considered “very nutritious.”

    Ah well, I’m not sure what else i’d expect from a guy whose job it is to defend something called an “apple dipper.”

  7. Bubba Barney says:

    Dasani, Evian, and Fiji are my fave waters. In case you guys care.

  8. DeeJayQueue says:

    by nutritious he must have meant that all the numbers on the nutrition info panel were very high… as if it was a scorecard.

  9. Juancho says:

    Actually, the apple dippers ARE healthy. It’s a presliced apple with ascorbic acid (vitamin C) added to maintain freshness. They give you “low-fat” caramel to dip them in, but chuck it, and you have a tasty snack when you’re on the run, for under a buck.