Dear Corporate Executives — please learn how to write. Having initially been a greasy, protoplasmic ooze poured into the mold of a stiff, starched suit, then imbued — Golem-like — with the spark of meaningless corporate business speak, you soulless automatons never seem to realize how meaningless phrases like “maximize initiatives” and “establish paradigm, COB” are to those of us who sprang forth from human loins.

Inhuman though you may be, your only means of expressing yourselves being Powerpoint presentations and the occasional “Booyeah!”, we don’t really expect you to figure out how to relate to an actual person by yourselves. But luckily, Bullfighter is here to help you with the task.

Bullfighter is a plug-in for Microsoft Office that operates like a spell checker. But instead of scanning your documents for typos and spelling mistakes, it scans your documents for corporate bullshit and suggests more human alternatives appropriately. It also provides you with comments so you can understand why, for example, the word “utilize” gives us a big rubbery one, where as the alternative “use” allows us to skip over the sentence without our genitalia expanding inside-out and polyp-like out of our rectums.

Fight the Bull: Bullfighter (Thanks, Lifehacker!)

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